Let them go

Chapter 12

Lucy POV

“Lucy, honey, you need to eat a little bit more.” Ezra said worriedly.

I looked up at him and gave him a small nod.

“What’s wrong, Lucy?” Theo asked, placing a hand on my back. “Are you still nauseous?”

I nodded again.

“Maybe we should call Nate.” Liam sighed, making me look at him.

“You don’t have to call him.” I said quietly. “I’m fine.”

I couldn’t let him call Nate. I didn’t want another person to ask me questions. I didn’t want to lie to another person who meant so much to me. I couldn’t do that.

“You aren’t eating, Lucy.” Noah sighed.

I looked down at my plate. It wasn’t as full as it was when we started eating dinner.

“I ate.” I mumbled.

“Not enough.” Theo said angrily.

I didn’t look up at him. I knew that he wasn’t angry at me, but I just couldn’t look at his face and lie. I couldn’t.

They’ve done so much for me, and I repaid them by lying to them. But I had to do it. I had to. I had to protect them. I had to make sure that Ezra was okay. I had to take care of my brothers.

“Guys, can I talk to Lucy alone for a second?” Sienna asked, and I flinched.

The sound of her voice filled me with unease. I didn’t know why. I liked her. She liked me. She wanted to help me become a better sister. She wanted Ezra safe. She loved Ezra.

But there was something about her that made my stomach clench painfully.

Maybe because I expected bad news about Ezra. Maybe because I was afraid that she would tell me that my brother is worse than before.

I looked up at her and gave her a small nod.

“You can talk to her right here.” Theo said, placing his arm around my shoulders.

“It’s a sensitive issue, Theo.” Sienna sighed.

“What sensitive issue?” Theo scoffed. “Period? I know all about that. Me and my brothers know all about her health, Sienna. She is our sister. Nothing is a sensitive topic when it comes to her and her wellbeing.”

Sienna’s eyes widened, and she glanced at me. She looked a little surprised. Why was she surprised?

“Theo, it’s okay.” I said softly as I looked at my brother. “We will be right back.”

Theo looked at me and frowned. I gave him a small smile.

“Sienna means well, Theo.” Ezra said softly. “Let them talk.”

Theo sighed and moved his arm from my shoulders.

“Five minutes, Sienna.” Noah said sternly. “You bring her back in five minutes, or I’m coming for her.”

“Noah.” Ezra sighed. “Don’t freak her out.”

“I’m sorry, Sienna.” Liam added. “They are a bit overprotective.”

Sienna nodded and smiled at Theo and Noah.

“It’s okay.” Sienna said. “I understand why.”

My stomach turned and I almost threw up those four bites I managed to eat.

Jack and Brian.
Jack and Brian.
Jack and Brian.

My brain couldn’t stop repeating those names.

That's why my brothers had to be overprotective.

Jack and Brian.

I stood up and followed Sienna out of the kitchen. I tried to stop myself from shaking, but it was so damn hard.

“What’s wrong, Lucy?” Sienna asked me as soon as we entered the living room.

“I’m a bit nauseous.” I gave her my rehearsed answer.

“Are you on your period?” she asked me as she sat down on the couch.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“And you talk to your brothers about that?” Sienna asked, and I could hear surprise in her voice.

I looked at her and furrowed my eyebrows. Was it wrong to talk to them about it? They never said that it bothered them. Was it weird for them? Maybe I shouldn’t have talked to them about it. Maybe I should have kept it for myself.

“Is that wrong?” I asked, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

“It’s not wrong.” Sienna said softly. “It’s a little bit weird for guys to talk about that. They are usually grossed out by it.”

My stomach turned, and I could feel a cold layer of sweat on the back of my neck. Did they think it was weird when I talked to them about it? They were disgusted? But I didn’t notice that. How didn’t I notice? Why didn’t they say anything? I wouldn’t talk about it if it was too weird for them. I didn’t talk much about it anyway. They would usually notice that I got my period because I was in pain. They would ask me about it, and I would tell them. Was that wrong?

“I didn’t know.” I mumbled quietly as I looked down at my feet.

“That’s okay, Lucy.” Sienna said. “You have me now. You can talk about it with me.”

I looked up at her and gave her a small smile.

She smiled back before furrowing her eyebrows.

“I want to make it easier on Ezra.” Sienna sighed as she stood up and approached me. “He worries when you aren’t okay, and it’s affecting him a lot.”

My heart raced.

I should have known. I shouldn’t have said anything about being nauseous.

“Is he okay?” I asked, my voice trembling.

Sienna bit her lip and shook her head.

My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.

“You are doing a great job trying to be a little more independent.” Sienna said as she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Just keep going and keep trying even harder. We need to help him.”

I nodded immediately.

Of course I would try harder. I would do my best to keep Ezra safe. I would do my best to help him get through this.

“I will do whatever I have to do.” I said quietly.

Sienna gave me a small smile and caressed my cheek.

“You can rely on me, Lucy.” Sienna said softly. “When you have a problem you can’t solve yourself, you can come to me. That way Ezra won’t be under so much pressure. He will get the rest he needs.”

My heart clenched painfully.

How didn’t I realize how badly I hurt Ezra? How didn’t I realize that I had put him under so much pressure?

“Thank you.” I mumbled, trying to give Sienna a small smile.

I couldn’t. I didn’t want to smile. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. I wanted to run to Ezra, hug him tightly, and beg him to forgive me.

Would Ezra resent me? Would he hate me?

I couldn’t ask him. I couldn’t make this situation about me. It wasn’t about me. It was about Ezra and his wellbeing. It was about my brothers and their health.

Sienna gave me a small smile and ran her fingers through my hair.

“Come on, let’s go back.” Sienna said softly. “I think my five minutes are up. I wouldn’t want to upset your brothers.”

I nodded and took a deep breath.

I followed Sienna back to the kitchen.

Ezra would be okay. I would make sure of it. M brothers would be okay.

I could do this. I could let go of them a little. I could let them live their lives without having to worry about me all the time. They deserved it. They needed it.

I didn’t want to be a bother. I didn’t want them to resent me. I didn’t want them to hate me.

I could do this. I could let them go.