No Regrets

Chapter Sixty-Nine - What is Left Behind

DOMINICK'S POV

  Katie hasn't spoken much to me since that day, I hardly even see her around the house. She stays in her room most of the time she's home; and when she is downstairs, she's quiet. I don't have much time to focus on trying to make things better with her. The hearing is tomorrow, Mr. Samuel and I have gone over everything and more. The witness list has been complied and verified. We have thought of arguments for every possible trick the Wiltons may pull out. 

  Judge Lauren will not be on the case, they will be in session for another case. Instead, a Judge Hopkins, will be presiding over the case. Mr. Samuel has told me to not stress out to much and try to keep my mind busy on other things; which is why I'm cleaning my room.

  Mollie's crib no longer occupies the spot next to the window, my bed has been placed in the spot. I still don't have a desk, not that I need one. All my homework I'm comfortable with doing on my bed or downstairs at the table. My video-game nest is where my bed once was, a tv-stand with a small flatscreen. There are two bean bag chairs. 

  I vacuumed the floors, made my bed, re-arranged my video game collection, and now I am dusting my bookshelf. I'm pulling out a book to dust in the spot when I something drops the floor. I lean down and pick up a few wrinkled pieces of paper.Junk paper? I wonder. I smooth the papers out against my knee and take a closer look. At first, I can't make out a single word, or even a letter; however, my eyes adjust and I make out the first word, "Dominick".

  The realization hits my chest like a thousand tons and the air is knocked out of my. Nikki's letter... I never finished reading it. I quickly go over to my bed, I sit down on the edge and begin reading the letter.

Dominick,

This is your daughter. She's five weeks old. I know this may seem to unreal, but it is true. This is your baby, you're a daddy. sorry to tell you like this, but what choice did I have. You wouldn't answer my calls or texts. Her name is Ezibell.

I know that's a horrible name and how much you'll hate it. I didn't name her Ezibell in scorn towards you, I named her the name FOR YOU.

If you do take her as yours, I'm 100% sure you'll change it. Naming her will be up to you. You're on your own, and I'm sorry about that. You're probably confused, scared, and perhaps you have -1000% confidence in yourself as both a parent and as a human. If you do feel that way, know that's how I felt every second during my pregnancy and even after she was born. Part of me still isn't sure if I was ever meant to be a mother. I love our daughter, so much more than expected or wanted to. I love her small head of hair and her big eyes that always seem to see who you truly are. She saw the little good in me, I know she'll see all the greatness inside of you. This might sound clique and exaggerated, but this baby of ours has brought out the best in me and makes me want to be more. I hope she can do the same for you.

You're probably wondering a lot. Why I didn't try harder to tell you I was pregnant? For a while, I tried to tell you so many times but you, understandably, ignored my calls. Then, as I progressed farther along in the pregnancy, I realize something. If I had told you, I'd probably end up only hurting you by screwing up. I want to say I believe that we were destined to be together, but I don't believe that... not anymore. I love you so damn much and I know you love me, but I make you worse and that's not how it's supposed to be.

My parent will probably try to take her back, and that sickens me. The thought of those two people being around our daughter, raising her, it repulses me. They should never have been allowed to have kids, not after all the hell Aria and I had to endure at their hands. They're smart, they gave us the scars that no one can see. The wounds that no one talks about. And I don't doubt that they'll hurt our baby too. I want to protect her, I want her to have the best life she can, and the best way to give that too her is for me to go and give her to you. She deserves a better mother than I could ever be.

This isn't postpartum depression. I've been dead for years now, and even though I love our daughter, love cannot give me back to life. I have been exhausted for so long, I'm ready to rest. I hope I have done right, carried on as long as I have, I am being selfish. But I'd be even more selfish to keep her, this is the hardest thing I will ever do. I won't be there to hold her hand when she takes her first steps, comfort her when she's sad, or be there to cheer her on when she does the great things I know she'll do. But I hope you'll be there. Because if our baby has you, she'll be more than alright.

If you don't to be a dad, which means you don't want her, it's not a-okay but I won't haunt or hate you for it. I....

   I nearly jump to my feet as I read the next part of the letter. I re-read it and re-read it until I'm absolutely sure I've read correctly. Without even thinking for another second, I fold the paper up and stuff it into my pocket. I throw open my door and nearly fly down the staircase. "Domini-" Katie starts to say as she comes out of the kitchen.

"I'll explain later." I say grabbing the keys out of the bowl. I have to remind myself to slow down a bit when I struggle to get the front door unlocked and opened.

"What do I tell the parents?" Katie asks following me down the driveway.

"Tell them I had to run an errand and will explain when I get back." I say climbing into the car. I put the key in the ignition. "I promise I'll explain." I say meeting Katie's eyes.

Katie nods her head, "Okay." she says. She waves goodbye as I pull out of the drive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Aria opens the door and is clearly surprised to see me, "Dominick, my parents will be home any-"

   I take out the letter and unfold it, I practically throw it into Aria's hands. She smooths it out a bit and reads over the words. The closer she gets to the end, the faster I see her eyes moving along the paper. She raises her head to look at me, "I didn't even know this was possible.." She says in shock.

"It's more than possible, this is the answer, Aria. This could be a solution, the way you can have a part in this without having the necessary stand-up to your parents." I place my hands on her shoulders. "Aria, this could work."

   Aria places a hand on my shoulder and looks into my eyes. "Even with all things applied, this may not work.." She must see something my eyes because she lets out a sigh, the side of her lip curls up a small bit, "But, we'll never know if we don't try." She reads further down the letter and points her finger to spot, "And a Mrs... Krofsky might be a good start."

***AUTHOR'S NOTE***

Final Spam Part 10! 

 Next chapter is the BIG and LONG court chapter. I'm not ready, are you ready? Probably so, you all have probably been ready for this since the last court chapter. 

 A LOT will be revealed, I hope I can manage to surprise you all with some of the things.

THANK YOU FOR READING! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!

VOTE, COMMENT, FOLLOW, do whatever you want.