No Regrets

Chapter Fifty-Eight - How the World Changes

KATIE'S POV

    "Lora Stafford." Mr. Dundazen calls out as he does roll call. Lora raises her hand and Mr. Dundazen checks off Lora's name on the clipboard. "Okay students, talk with your partners and decide if one or both of you will be presenting." He says before walking behind the curtain to do one last check of the projector.

   I can't believe Sawyer and I's short film actually was voted into the showcase. I didn't attend the student showcase because I was making up some of the schoolwork I'd missed in study hall. Before Sawyer can start to stand up from the plastic chair he's sitting in, I start walking over to him. Although my anger, which was for the most part misplaced, at Sawyer is gone, I can't help but feel my heart stop whenever I'm around him. His freshly cut hair is combed over to one side, he's wearing a simple formal blue button-down shirt, a red tie, and black pants. He stands up when he sees me coming, "Hey." he says.

"Hey." I say.

   A slight uncomfortable tension hangs between us, I'm not sure if I should say something or if I should wait for him to say something. "You look handsome." I say right at the exact moment Sawyer says, "You look beautiful this evening."

  Both of our faces get a bit flushed, I open my mouth to say something just as Sawyer is about to. "Oh, sorry you go first." I say.

  "You first." Sawyer says right as the first word leaves my lips. We both let out a nervous laugh and our faces flush even more. He looks slightly down at his shoes for a moment, he gestures for me to speak first, "Ladies first." he says politely.

"Thanks." I say. I look off in the direction of the wall behind him, "I was just going to ask if one of us to present or both of us? I'm cool with whatever."

  Sawyer lifts his head up, "If you want me to present, I'm cool with it. Whatever you want." he says.

"It's up to you." I reply. "We can both do it, or I can, or you can, doesn't matter to me." I add.

   He shrugs his shoulders, "I'm cool with either."

   I laugh a little and curl up the side of my lip, "Doesn't seem like we're making progress on the matter." I say. Sawyer laughs a bit too.  I give him a gentle nudge on the shoulder, "You worked really hard on this, you should present it."

  Sawyer smiles, "Thanks, but you know you did most of the work." We both share a short laugh. I smile, "I don't do good around crowds, never have been." I say.

   Sawyer's expression changes, he places a hand in his pant pocket and looks up at me. "I remember." he says.

  My smile fades a bit and confusion washes over my face, "What?" I ask.

"Before I pretended to not know you, I remember that day at the playground." he says.

   My smile disappears as the memories flood back into my mind, I don't like to remember that day. Some people are able to hold their tongues and keep their heads low, I was that person for as long as I could; but eventually I was pushed too far. I hide under the slide, refusing to come out even after being threatened with having my parents called. I covered my ears and screamed out, a broken strangled flood of emotions; and I kept screaming until a teacher forced me to come out. I managed to have quite the breakdown before I was interrupted. Every second of that afternoon is trapped inside my memory.  The events that followed for the next two years are mostly mushed together. Sawyer stopped talking to me along with most of my friends, I dropped out of basketball, stopped attending the art class, focused on my academics, and watched my brother turn into someone else.

"Why are you bringing this up now?" I ask Sawyer, my voice barely above a whisper.

  "I don't know..." Sawyer says looking away from me. "I know this timing is crap, but... I couldn't continue to act like I didn't remember. I want you to know that I'm sorry and I didn't walk away from you for the reasons you might think." He says.