Forty Four

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| Ariana |

My parents, James, Maria, Eric, Carson, Adam; who else can this asshole take from me!? I don't have anyone else to lose! Everyone's gone, I have nothing more to fight for. I dragged the blade across my arm again and again as the water pounded against my back. I deserve this. I got them all killed. It's only right that I join them.

"Ariana?" Carson asked through the door.

"What?" I asked.

"We gotta go grab some food, come on" He said.

I groaned but set the blade down. Adam wouldn't want us to keep fighting, but that doesn't mean I forgive him or I've forgotten.

I shut the water off and hid the blade under the sink before drying off and getting dressed, hoodie and jean shorts. I walked out of the bathroom and Carson was standing there in jeans and a t-shirt. He still looks like the same old Carson I fell in love with. But I knew he wasn't, he's a monster.

"Ready?" He asked, bringing me back to reality.

"Yeah" I nodded, putting on a calm facade.

He nodded and turned towards the front door. We're been living under police custody since we got here, even if they caught Derrick. We walked out of the apartment and down the stairs until we came to the lobby which was guarded by 24/7 cop surveillance.

"Leaving?" The cop asked.

"For dinner yes" Carson said.

"Enjoy" The cop said as he held open the door for us.

"Thanks" I said softly.

Ever since Adam passed I've just been really quiet. I can't lose anyone else, even if the only person left is Carson. Maybe I should talk to him? Smooth things over?

"Ariana" He said.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"You've been zoning out a lot" He commented.

"Sorry" I replied.

"It's fine; you want burgers or Italian?" He asked.

"Burgers" I replied.

He smiled and grabbed my hand before running across the street. When we got across the street we walked down the sidewalk a little more before Carson quickly let go of my hand.

"Shit sorry, force of habit" He said.

"Carson, can I ask something?" I asked.

He looked at me confused as he opened the diner door. We both walked in and a lady walked towards us.

"Table for two?" She asked.

"Yeah" He nodded.

"Right this way" She said.

We followed her to the table and sat on either side if it. We looked over our menus as she asked what drinks we wanted. I ordered a coffee and Carson got a Coke. Once the waitress walked away Carson pushed down my menu until it laid on the table.

"What was your question?" He asked.

I took a deep breath and ran it through in my head, making sure it was the right way to ask. Knowing it wasn't j decided to ask anyways.

"What actually happened with that girl?" I asked quickly.

Carson looked pained to think about it but he sighed.

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