Kashmakash

Part 22

⚠ Warning: This section contains scenes of abuse and self-harm. Reader's discretion required.

The weight of his dark past had haunted Hyder for nearly 15 years, refusing to release its grip on him. It was a past filled with fear and regret, a past that still tormented his dreams and plagued his waking hours. The memories of that time had subjected him to years of depression and anxiety, leaving scars that ran deep within his soul. A past from which he wanted to save Naajiya, never wanting her to have any association with his scars. But at last he failed, he failed in protecting his Naajiya, his angel.

Flashback:

Hyder sat in his room, a weed stick between his fingers, a habit he had picked up from his high school friends. It had been a week since he had his first puff, and since then, he found himself smoking every night before bed. The sensation was oddly addictive, a momentary escape from the pressures of his life. Lost in the haze, he was startled when a knock echoed through the room.

His chachi, Farheen, stood at the door, dressed in her night attire. With a casual air, she entered the room and reached out to take a puff from his joint.

His brain was playing with him, he was high and everything around him looked blurry. He could feel her sensual touches on his chest and thighs, making his breath heavy. He closed his eyes unable to comprehend the situation he was in; he felt her hand move from his thighs to his manhood, or maybe boyhood. He has no remembrance after that.

He woke up mid-night and found half naked Farheen sitting on his bed, smoking, looking at him intently. He jerked awake.

'Chachi, aap yaha, aise?' he said, averting his eyes away from her naked body.

'Chachi?? Raat ko to sab rishte bhool gaye the' she smirked.

Hyder widened his eyes on realization. A fear and guilt enveloped him, he had done something which was unforgivable for him.

'Sorry chachi, galti ho gayi. Mujhe hosh nahi tha' he sobbed.

Farheen came near him and hugged him 'Shh, kuch nahi hua. Ghabrao nahi main kissi se nahi bolungi'

Hyder moved back realizing the proximity, but Farheen again moved closer.

'Chachi, aap kya kar rahi hai?' he looked horrified.

'Hyder, tum bahut aache ho. Mujhe pata hai tum meri saari baatein maanoge. Warna tumhare Abbu ko kaisa lagega jab unhe pata chalega, unke ladke ne nashe mein apni chachi ke saath zabardasti ki' she threatened.

'Par ye jhoot hai. Maine koi zabardasti nahi ki' He cried defending himself.

'Par wo yakeen kis par karenge, 16 saal ke nasha kiye ladke pe ya mujhpe' She smirked.

**

It had been more than a year since Farheen had forced herself on him. And it was not the last time, whenever his Chachu went for business trips, she came to his room hunting for him. Hyder had begged her several times, to leave him alone but his cries only reached deaf ears. Though unwillingly but the sins he committed were pushing him into darkness. He felt ashamed facing his family, he hated his body, his face, everything that Farheen touched.

The darkness was unbearable for him, making it difficult for him to breath. The only way he imagined, where he could save his soul and his father's reputation, was leaving his body, a body that was no more than a filth for him. Taking a handful of sleeping pills, he gulped them in waiting for death to consume him, giving him the solace that he seeks.