So F*cking Special: 1996 (Book 1, The So F*cking Special Series)

Hunger Strike

"T. A. K. E. TAKE US ALL THE WAY! WE SAID, T. A. K. E. TAKE US ALL THE WAY. GO. BIG. BLUE!" The varsity cheerleading squad called from one end of the gym. The student body cheered as they made their way out onto the floor in a contagion of chants. "ARE THE BUCKEYES GOING TO WIN TONIGHT, HE-LL NO!" The crowd roared again, and the band shouted on cue from their section in the stands, "SAY WHAT?"

"ARE THE BUCKEYES GOING TO WIN TONIGHT, WE SAID HE-LL NO!" The cheerleaders repeated and cued a drum roll. A chubby senior with glasses on snare drum stepped out and did the honors. "PURE PINE. PALOMINOS...ARE HERE TO STRUT THEIR STUFF. WHATCH-OUT...BUCKEYES." The first six cheerleaders did a back flip from where they stood. "WE'RE BACK AND TOUGH!" Jesus.

The band began playing our fight song, and I ran out from the open double doors with the varsity football team, for what I hoped to be the last time. I had to wonder if I was going to miss this. They didn't give pep rallies for the track team in the spring, not even if you made it to state, but they did however give real scholarships for it. The odds of getting one around here in football, no matter how fast I was, were stacked against the bodies the size of these ass holes next to me that would land on me tonight while I pretended to want to be our team's wide receiver.

It wasn't enough that I negotiated out of a running back to hopefully less of an eleven-car pileup. Too bad I wasn't all thumbs and could actually catch. I just...I was fast, and I wanted to stay that way for track. The idea that someone might not let me? This was absurd to me. "Son, you have to play the game," my grandfather would say. Which one, Pops? The literal or proverbial game and for how long?

They didn't even notice me my freshman year. I was stuck on JV with the majority of the guys in my class while they pushed a select few forward to varsity. It would be very different if I had been selected right away and they had always been counting on me. It wasn't until last year when my time destroyed everyone at the district track meet by well under the number of seconds anyone could have beaten me with at state. I didn't get to go to state because of debate team, but if I had, the coaches knew we would have won. My freshman year time alone nearly got the team there.

This was all a bunch of BS, and I wasn't about to lose my lunch and ticket to my legacy school just because they finally noticed me here and suddenly can't make it without me. Make one of these other fuckers spend their summer running their fat asses off like I do. I looked around at the idiots beside me, the ones I called my buddies and the ones that were truly idiots. Look, I loved the comradery and all the glory that came with it. I loved football even, but I also knew at a certain point you must decide what you are going to thrive at and where the real opportunity is. I would be damned if mine was going to be an injury that laid me out just past the twenty-five-yard line in the middle of the season.

I'd already had issues with my knee, which the coach insisted on handling for me. That's not how I work. You do it right or you don't do it at all. He had already lost my trust. We'd made it to the beginning of October. If I could just skate through to the end of the season. It wasn't that far away, at least my stepmom kept reminding me of that.

I wasn't a quitter, I just knew I wanted something else already, and it was okay with me that these guys didn't. Maybe they didn't have other options waiting for them. Maybe football was their opportunity. I had other options. Track was mine. It is what I wanted and was exceptional at. I hated to be held back on anything I'd set my mind to. It was a massive pet peeve of mine. It would be different if I just liked it better, but this was a calculated decision.

I weighed the odds, and this was my opportunity. I didn't need to continue trying my hand at every sport Pure Pines offered to be mediocre at each of them at the end of the day. It was junior year. I needed to streamline and focus on perfecting what could get me noticed and in to where I wanted to go.

As I looked up at Coach Craig cheering with the crowd and slapping some of the guys around in excitement, I understood what he wanted from me, and if I'm honest, I would miss not delivering it. I just kept thinking about what my dad told me. He told me to trust my gut and not let the extras get in the way. Those weren't meant to be my milestones, just distractions. "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." That's what he'd say. He believed that the ability to move forward is what truly made someone stand out above the rest. I knew he was right, and telling Coach Craig was just part of it.

Sometimes I hated this place. It just didn't have the follow through they forced on us. Don't get me wrong, I loved that they pushed us. Survival of the fittest was key to life, and it's exactly what you got at Pure Pines. When I think about all the random students that transferred or moved here from Prairie, a much larger school in the town over from us, or any of the surrounding schools within a hundred-mile radius for that matter, they never could hack it. If they were straight "A" students in honors classes, they struggled to make the A/B honor roll in our regular classes. A lot of them who decided to hang in our AP classes went from "As" at their former school to straight "C's". It wasn't anything to brag about, it was just a truth of our school and what they wanted for us.

It had been that way from the beginning. None of us could be sure if it was one group of faculty members or perhaps our elementary school principal that made our class the state champs on the required standard testing that we all nailed. She just didn't let failure be an option. I looked out at the student body, all the different kids cheering from all walks of life. It was strange how Pure Pines true cruelty was that they had given them ALL the same opportunity. They had maliciously almost set us all up to thrive. Which was an impossibility, however, cruel as it was for those who fell through the cracks, you have to think it was also somewhat championing to have people expectant of you. I don't even think we knew what poor was in elementary school.

Our reading groups had been divided into literally group one, two and three, if you weren't in the top group, you knew it, and everyone else did too. The number two group was obviously in the middle/mediocre and the third group last. The third group was how we learned what less fortunate was. Here at Pure Pines, it was initially about merit, academic achievement, and skill. Great, I was about to drop something expected of me. This also went against my core values. Damn it. Why was this such a hard decision to make. I didn't like being on the fence about anything. Especially when I wasn't on the fence, and I knew what I wanted.

The drum roll started again, and I looked out at the varsity cheerleaders chanting in front of us, half expectant and disappointed I didn't see one I always looked for. Just for fun or good luck. Habit, I suppose. The entire semester I had forgotten she wasn't on the squad. Wonder why she didn't make it this year? I think Reagan had said something about twirling with she and Lynn, but they hadn't really done that this year or there was no baton twirler or majorette line. Who knows, I needed to get my head straight and focus on quitting football. Besides, debate was coming up. She was on the debate team with me. I'd see her then. Or, I should say ask her what happened then, I mean. Okay Adrian, stop looking at the cheerleaders, not exactly a pro on the list of quitting football.