Brutally Honest Reviews™

Onyx and Gold

Word Count: 2309

Warning: An unhealthy dose of passive aggression is used in this review. Reader discretion is advised.

UPDATE: The author has changed the cover since the review.

Title: Affliction~ NEW: Onyx and Gold

Genre: Historical Fiction/fantasy

Blurb: As hereditary prince, he is forced into an arranged marriage to a princess whose kingdom is willing to aid them against the Germans. But he fell for her bestfriend instead. So he is given the choice : his kingdom or his heart?

~NEW SUMMARY~

"Your kingdom or your love for the girl?" the man asks him. "Go against my wishes and you will see just how powerful I am."

  -

  To be royal, you have to be prepared to do anything and sacrifice everything.

As The Hereditary Prince, he is obliged to do anything for his people and kingdom. This includes agreeing to marry the princess whose kingdom is offering military aids against the Germans.

Yet as human, he couldn't help when he fell for the princess' bestfriend.

And for once in his life, he isn't so sure about being a royal.

Status: Ongoing

~~

Starting Points: 30

Cover:

*Opens bag of chips*

-Um.....not so sure if I like it or not.

-It's a mess.

-Just kidding! I'm pretty sure I clicked on your account like a month ago and it was something different, and I think I liked it. My memory is poor, so I may have just pulled that out of nowhere. I do that a lot. Seriously though, relax with all of the cover switching (ironic). It's tiring to keep up with. No points lost, the cover is attractive and it's doing its job. However, the quality of the picture could be better.

Title: I kind of hate one word titles at this point. They're so lazy. Not an attack on you per se, but on everyone with one word titles. No points off though, I'm just talking out loud...or on a document.

*Licks crumbs off fingers*

Summary: 

*Puts chips aside*

*Sighs*

-Why.

-Yes, it's not a question, but in fact a statement. I am tired of all you is what it means.

*Crickets chirp*

-Why you ask? Well, maybe because of the fact that I haven't come across a solid summary this entire time. Who will be the one who finally succeeds in figuring out the ins-and-outs of the summary? Who will finally take M out of her suffering? Let her have one day of not addressing a poor summary? Who will be the hero? The legend of all legends? Stay tuned on M eating chips—I mean BHR.

-Annoyingness aside, my main issue with this besides the wretched excerpt slapped in it, is the fact that not one darn name was given. The simplest must.

-Giving the main characters' name (unless for some reason it isn't supposed to be known for an actual reason). You could have at least thrown in the name of a random toad, and I would have been pleased. Right now, your summary looks utterly pointless and...Incomplete.