Brutally Honest Reviews™

Soul Remains (N)

Word Count: 2361

Title: Soul Remains

Genre: Fantasy

Blurb: Koel was running from a mistake he knew he'd never be able to fix, a mistake that ate at his very soul. He resigned himself to a life of loneliness and fear, always aware of the fact he had screwed up big time.

But when he discovers a strange knife and finds himself stuck in an ancient contract with a demon, he doesn't know whether to be happy or horrified. On the one hand, his time alone has come to an end. On the other, the demon is violent and cruel, hateful toward all humankind--who had bound him to the knife and forced the demon to serve whoever owned the knife for millennia.

The demon chooses to use Koel as much as he can, while being subjected to a life of servitude due to the curse. He sees his new master as a completely amateur and naive human, someone who can easily be manipulated but also someone whose morals enrage him. But when Koel offers to find a way to free the demon from his curse, he finds himself caught up in Koel's complex life--something he'd never expected to happen.

Status: Ongoing

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Starting Points: 30

Cover: I like it! It's doing its job well of catching readers' attention and even though there are better covers found around Wattpad, this is doing alright for itself, considering. No points lost.

Title: Definitely intriguing. Clearly, no points lost.

Blurb: *Rubs hands together*

-I haven't read it yet, but hopefully, I have something to complain about!

-Okay, I've read it now and some copyediting is needed because at the moment it's giving a bad first impression for potential readers. Besides from that point, I don't think it's bad? It just isn't amazing and the syntax can be a whole lot better in order the story can pack a necessary punch. Maybe I'm feeling this way because its lacking a hook, but regardless of that it still feels like it's missing something and seems a bit unclear who the protagonist is. Whatever the issue is here, I'm not entirely sure, but I'd recommend on rewriting this for something more concise. (-2)

Plot: Dark(er) version of Disney's Aladdin but without the caste system and monarchy (I assume?). Update: So, I think there is a monarchy in place? People are using swords too, so there's that.

Opening thoughts:

-The story is taking the POV of genie, I mean, the demon...which is interesting. But, the opening line of the book is weak as hell. Its actually disappointing how much it's lacking. What I think would be best for the author to consider is the route of not starting with exposition, but immediately beginning with action. This way, the reader is engaged, has a setting in mind, hopefully, and can be reeled in the scene. The opening paragraph as a whole needs a rewrite. Don't let the demon tell us how his last master was cruel to him. Quite frankly, no one cares all that much, pal. There's not even a proper introduction and he already starts spewing out problems to the audience? Kind of offsetting, really. (-2)

-For example, the story can begin with the young boy breaking into the master's house as the demon watched on, mulling over what he should do: scare him (seems weird for a demon though, what is he a ghost? Kill his ass!) or take advantage of him nativity for his own freedom. Then, the author can proceed to fill in the background of how the demon got there, etcetera. 

Characters:

-The demon. Alios. I don't really know, he doesn't have a name. Anyway, I'm actually liking this character? He's an ancient demon that has been weathered down by time and grit, subjugation and mankind's cruelty/greed and I do empathize with his reasonings for being such a pessimist and a realist. I am always curious about the concept of things or people who have lived for eons being tired of the humdrum chain of routine, so I may be biased since the idea does get my anus clenching and all. Calm down, boy.