Kill First, Feel Last ; Daryl Dixon

thirty eight:: epilogue

Life. Growing up, I always believed that the word 'Life' revolved around the world we lived in. The decisions we would make, the words we chose to speak- they all had an impact on how the remainder of our lives panned out. Life. Such a little word with a great deal of meaning. What is life? What does life bring? What is the meaning of life? Questions like these would flutter throughout my brain like a horde of butterflies confusing the utter shit out of me.
It was the main factor as to why I was breathing, eating, or something as little as sleeping. It was the decisions I would make and to me I grew up thanking my parents for the life they had given me. Although, once I grew older things got alot more complicated. Life brought complicated decisions that needed to be made and antagonizing situations that would bring both tears of happiness and tears of great sadness. While I was young, my most difficult decision to be made was what kind of birthday cake I wanted. Vanilla? Too boring yet so tasty. Chocolate? Everyone loved a good chocolate cake, but it was too common. 

As the years went on, and our ages doubled, life began to be the complete definition of fucked up chaos.

Once upon a time, men and women loved each other endlessly. There were no side hoes, and there were no social media addictions to rip that love apart. There used to be romance, and connections that no body in the world could come between. Men and women used to wait until marriage to have sex and would only have that connection with that same person for the rest of their lives. Years later, all of that vanished, everything changed. Men and women cheated on their loved ones with people who meant nothing to them. The romance dispersed into thin air and social media took over. Women would post pictures while they wore barely a thing and men would fall head over heels for the way they interpreted what they thought was sexy. Women no longer embraced their natural beauty and instead used multiple cosmetic products to hide who they truly are. Feminism, Homophobia and Racism eventually took over, causing a worldwide, chaotic mess.  

I truly believed that feminism, racism and homophobia was going to be the cause of the third world war. Women in the front lines, killing off the men because they know they're capable of what they can do, and men refusing to hurt them because they're 'women'. Racist people screaming at the darker toned men and women, but in reality- they're going to get just as fucked up as their racism ever was. Homosexual men and women in colorful attire, scared to touch the gun because it could hurt someone. They intended to talk the enemy to surrender. 
Right?
Wrong.. 

In reality, everyone was the same. Everyone IS the same. I couldn't give a fuck if someone was black, white, a female or male, or even which hole you like to pleasured with, which gender you like or whether you think you're king shit.. I fight my own war and in my world- the gays could fuck you up just as much as anyone could. We're all human beings, regardless of our skin tones and women aren't capable of everything a man could do- but we are capable of doing more things then you could imagine. 

Life now though... Zombies, death, the end of the world... I wouldn't change it for a thing. 
I have found the love of my life, and we have brought a beautiful baby boy into this fucked up world. I have family that I adore, and a safe haven that not even a horde of walkers could enter. 

I mean.. I would really love for the world NOT to be fucked up, and for everyone to get their lives back but if the zombie apocalypse hadn't of happened.. If my dad didn't turn into a complete loony tune, killed people and kidnapped Daryl... Would I have still been with Daryl? Would I have our baby Glenn laying in my arms? Would I have the people that mean everything to me right here around me?

I fight my own war. I fight for life. I fight for my life, for Daryl's life, for our baby Glenn's life, for Dad, Rick, Carl, Michonne, Maggie, Beth, Judith- I fight for my family. 

Daryl's arms wrapped tightly around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder and his lips lightly pressing small kisses along my cheek. I turned my head toward him, pressing my lips firmly onto his. I cradled Glenn in my arms, feeling Daryl's arms tighten around me. 

"I love ye'.." His gruff voice huskily echoed through my ear. "So fuckin' much." 
"I love you too.." I giggled lightly. "A whole fuckload more." 





Well! That's it! :( 
Thankyou so much for your support on this book, and as much as it kills me to end this one- I can't seem to think of anything more the add onto it. 
I have 2 other books going, and you all voted for another Daryl book so that's in the works! 
I love you all!