Ch. 8 He doesn't mean it. Right?

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CH. 8 He doesn't mean it. Right?

(Ben POV)

I rushed to my room, stunned about what had just happened.

What in the world was that? I asked myself.

Did he just say that? Did he mean that? I looked around my room in confusion. He kissed me, and I kissed him back.

I touched my lips; the kiss that happened between us was something that I liked a lot. Yet, it was something that was not supposed to happen.

I can't do things like that with people I interviewed.

Why did he kiss me? Why did I even allow him to kiss me? I mean, he asked for consent, and I said it was okay, but part of me was wondering if he would do it.

Is he attracted to me?

I didn't have to look in the mirror to know that my face was already red, but I couldn't help the butterflies that I was feeling.

He kissed me for a reason; he asked to kiss me for a reason.

He wanted to kiss me, and I ran out of the kitchen as soon as he finished.

Gosh, what is wrong with me? I'm a whole nervous wreck.

I left the bedroom and found Jesse standing right where I left him, still. He didn't even move; it was as if he was frozen.

Running away after the kiss was something that I shouldn't have done.

This was new to both of us, especially to him, and here I am causing us both to be nervous about it even more.

"Jesse," I said, walking towards him. He turned to face me, a confused look on his face.

I didn't know what to say, but Jesse cut me off before I could even come up with anything.

"Why did you run out? Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable but I was serious when I said l like you and I'm attracted to you." He said, staring at me.

"I'm sorry it was unexpected, and I just didn't think you would do that. Honestly, Jesse, I don't know what to think of this. I honestly just don't want to be someone's experiment to see if they like men or not. I'm honestly too fragile to get hurt like that, Jesse, and if that's what you're looking for, then you found the wrong person because I can't deal with that." I said, meaning every word.

"I didn't kiss you because I was experimenting. I kissed you because the level of attraction I felt for you was already there." He said in a severe tone.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, let out a sigh, and then spoke.

"I want you, I like you and I am attracted to you. You're not an experiment to see if I am gay or not. Honestly, I don't think I am gay but I know I am feeling a lot of crazy emotions right now for you and I don't see this feeling going away. Also, I'm not going to keep you a secret. if you give me a chance to show you that. I will, I don't care who knows. You're definitely someone worth bragging about." Jesse said, staring at me with raw emotions.

I let his words settle in. I would be lying if I didn't admit that the level of pull and attraction I felt towards him wasn't there, but what was scary to me was that we had just met and were already feeling this way towards each other.

"You like me, seriously? No games?" I asked him. He walked towards me, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me again.

My heart was slamming against my chest as Jesse continued to kiss me.

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