Got7 is sitting im front of the fireplace in Jinyoung's temporary house. The livingroom is warm and cozy. Jinyoung sits in the middle of the sofa with blanket draping on his lap. Sharing his blanket is Mark and Yugyeom. Jackson and Youngjae cramp in another sofa next to them while JB and Bambam are sitting on the floor approaching the fireplace.
Piles of pamphlets laying here and there. The boys are reading the pamphlets diligently.
It's the beginning of winter. All leaves are falling out and the temperature drops. Today is at least 2'C outside.
"It's really cold today, I can't imagine if we're still in our old dorm", Bambam shudders. His eyes doesn't leave athe pile of pamphlets they are reading.
Yugyeom puts away his pamphlet, "too many medical jargons. Can't they make these things in layman's term?My head is going to explode".
"You need to improve your reading", Youngjae teases him.
"Shut up, I'm trying to read here", Mark says. He's reading english pamflet.
"I wish there's one in Thai language. I can't even understand the english ones".
"Maknaes need to study more", Youngjae teases again.
"Like you understand a word. I know you're only looking at them", Jackson says to Youngjae . He also reads his pamphlet seriously. His expression is unlike the usual goofy Jackson.
Yugyeom and Bambam laugh together, "Youngjae hyung paabo".
Jinyoung smiles, he really enjoys this atmosphere of bickering and bantering among members. Although he usually just sits and stay quiet, but they always manage to make him laugh.
Is it getting colder or just Jinyoung? He shudders and lean his body closer to Mark, seeking warmth.
"Wae Jinyoung ah, you cold?", Mark asks him and pulls him closer. Mark tucks Jinyoung's blanket. He touches Jinyoung's forehead to make sure the younger man doesn't have fever and relieve when he feels normal temperature.
According to Jinyoung's mom, the handsome man had fever last night, but the doc already gave him supplies of paracetamol. The doctor already said he would likely to have fever randomly.
Jinyoung is a bit irritated because he feels weak, but he knows he has to be strong for his brothers, sisters and parent. Until now, he still tries to figure out his own feeling though. Of course he's been trying to be honest, knowing that the members of GOT7 are all sensitive and they all can sense if something is being hidden. Telling them the truth is Jinyoung's decision. He hates to be a burden it's true, and all his life is spent trying to be an example, a role model for his friends. He hid his pain, his insecurities, his flaws just to set a perfect image in front of people around him. He wants to be one too in this case. He'll show his friends that he's cool with the new situation and will handle it like a tough man. This illness is nothing and he'll beat it.
Although Jinyoung feels like he has to say thank you to Yugyeom for that part, for his conversation the other night. It makes him realize that he still has people depend on him, the members still need need him, and of course their fans. Jinyoung had made a promise to himself to be honest to his members and family, allow them to help him through the process, and be more open about his feeling.
It's something that Jinyoung rarely did because he's used to be the mom of the group. A mother never gets sick. He had to take care of the members. But he realized that the members wouldn't forgive him if he does something without them knowing. So he'll just let them smother him for this time being. Only for this time being. He's not sure if he could do this, but he has to try. He has to br stronger for everyone rooting for him. He's Park Jinyoung anyway.
The fact that all 7 of them cramping in the same living room studying about his illness is such a big deal. Jinyoung tries to push his ego as far as he can, otherwise other 6 will not stop bothering him with all questions he probably can't answer. But he can't deal if they talk behind his back either. So he better save the hassle and come clean to all of them all at once. Besides, he can't deal with any of this without JB and Mark's help anyway.
"So basically chemotherapy is like a poison injected to our body to weaken and eventually kill the cancer cells", JB explains to his dongsaengs as he knows Jinyoung wouldn't be comfortable to explain himself,
"The chemo is done within a periode called cycle. A cycle consists of preparation, the chemo itself which is done in outpatient basis, and then they will let his body heals before continuing to next cycle. Each cycle is 3 weeks apart, that's to allow the body to recover. I think that's all I can understand... The drug is called ABV...D or something.. don't make me explain that too".
"So what about the side effect? Are thos side effects in the movies are true?", Youngjae asks, peeking from his pamphlet.
"Everyone has different reactions to the drug", Mark says, "you can't know for sure".
The room suddenly becomes silent. Jinyoung knows other member's heads are full of questions they are too afraid to ask.
"Yes, I probably will have those side effects. Yes I probably going to loose my hair. But Kim Woo Bin sunbaenim who also underwent chemotherapy didn't loose his hair so I'd say there's a chance that I'm going to be as handsome", Jinyoung jokes. He's relieved when other members smiles hearing him taking it rather lightly.
"Guys listen, I probably am an introvert. Having you guys here and discussing about me being sick is just so unusual for me. I just don't want you to be worried or being in the dark with my sickness. You guys will bombard me with lots and lots of questions anyway so I better come forward. I already gave my words to JB hyung so it goes the same with all of you. I'm very thankful for you guys being so kind. I honestly don't know where this will lead, or what will happen. But I don't want to think about it too much. I want to play it by ears, you know, just take it one at a time. You guys should too. Don't think too much okay, that's the last thing I expect from you guys. I don't want anything to change, I can't have you guys pitying on me how weak I am. If I need you, I will say it clearly, but I don't want you guys to overeact. I will be fine. Docs said my prognosis is good so let's focus on that".
JB nods, "Yea, let's not worry too much.. Jinyoung is probably thr strongest person in this group so I'll have my faith on him".
"Agree", Mark adds,"uri Jinyoungie is the best".
He hugs Jinyoung so tight, Jinyoung laughs.
"I just... ", Jackson is not smiling at all, ".. hope that you would just... you know, cry.. or bawl or... throwing things to the wall.. You know... Like those in the movies. I don't want you to play strong when you aren't".
Jinyoung smiles softly, "I did.. I did cry.. No one knows when I will cry again. But this time, this time I already decided to go forward. I'm don't pretend that I'm strong, Seun-ah.. But you gotta understand that this is me. You once told me not to think negatively and that's what I'm doing. That's why you're all here. Because I need your help. I don't expect you to understand, but bear with me okay".
It's the first time Jackson really speaks up after the whole sickness things happen. Jinyoung knows Jackson is probably the one that's most affected as he is the most sensitive person in the group. Maybe he repressed his feeling all the time. He did send Jinyoung messages, lots of them. But most of them don't say anything about Jinyoung's cancer.
"Look, you can cry now if you want to. But later on, I will need your support, okay".
Jackson does cry. It makes Yugyeom cry too. Bambam almost cry but he manages to hold his tears and just fiddling with the pillow he's holding.
JB squeezes Jackson's shoulder and pats him gently. Mark still holds Jinyoung. The younger one shivers but stays in his position. He feels safe in Mark's arms.
"The treatment is starting next week, so until then I'll try to take good care of myself and just be positive. We'll have a meeting with JYP PD nim tomorrow, I really don't want to think about it a lot", Jinyoung says.
"Are you sure you want to keep going as planned?", JB asks,"I don't think we will get approval from JYP hyung, though".
"I have too. It's the only thing that will distract me from negative thoughts. It's not like we are going to be super busy. We are not having comeback, yet... because of me...".
"Ok, stop right there", Mark interupts, "we are all agree about having comeback after you get remission. Whenever that is. We'll wait. So don't bring that up again".
"Sorry", Jinyoung bows, "my point is, I'm just... we're just going to finish everything that has to be finished. Our schedule, at least until my part is done. I don't want to feel like I'm indebts. I can't let JYP company affected. It's only a month, only one cycle of chemotherapy then I'm done. We're going to hold press confrence, then I'll take a good rest, focus on my treatment, and come back healthy".
"I don't care as long as you're staying, hyung", Yougyeom speaks with his puffy face and red eyes, "I will support you the best I can. I will carry you everywhere".
Jinyoung laughs, "you're too much"
"7 or never", Bambam raises his head, "I will support you too".
Bambam's hand reach out to Jinyoung's and he squeeze them tight.
Jinyoung feels his eyes are blurry with tears but he manages to keep calm.
"So we are all agree that we will support Jinyoung?", JB asks to his members and all of them nod their heads. JB turns to Jinyoung who nestles in Mark's arm, "Jinyoungie, I don't want you to feel bad or anything, okay.. You've been taking care of us these whole years, and it's the least we can do for you. I know you'd do the same if any of us were in your position. Just focus on getting better, okay?".
"And don't worry too much about ahgases. They're the best fans we could ever have, I'm sure they'll support you no matter what", Mark says with his deep voice.
A trail of tear escapes Jinyoung's eyes. He wipes it quickly and clears his throat, trying to say something to reply his hyungs but nothing comes up.
Jackson suddenly rushes forward hugging Jinyoung, "pabo ya, I already told you to just cry it's easier".
Jinyoung finally cries and so do the rest of them. All of them making circle hugging Jinyoung. Jinyoung promised himself not to cry again, but looks like he can't keep it. He really feels grateful to have a group members like GOT7 they give him more strength and now he can rest assure that there are always people supporting his back. He doesn't want to let him down.
Jinyoung's mom is watching the beautiful scenery from the kitchen, she can't keep her tears as well. She's been hiding her sadness because her husband told her to stay strong for their only son. But she'sa mother after all. Her heart broke when Jinyoung called her that night, she spent her night crying with he husband encouraging him. She then told the two daughters who also broke down in tears. The father then asked her to be strong because Jinyoung will need her support. She prepared her heart for it, not knowing that Jinyoung's friends would do something to this extent to help his son. She feels relieved that Jinyoung has good friends surrounding him. A good man will be surrounded by good people, that's what Jinyoung's father told her when his youngest decided to take a path in entertainment world. She always worries about her baby, but seeing GOT7 made her feel glad Jinyoung took this path. They're a bunch of good kids, and they have each other. Jinyoung's mom feels like she can trust them with Jinyoung. Jinyoung's mom never said anything about his son's decision to keep working with his condition, she's too afraid to ask, too worried that she might hurt her son's feeling. Jinyoung is hard headed. Once he makes a decision, he'll work hard to achieve what he wants. She knew she wouldn't be able to change anything so she kept quiet eventhough she's screaming inside. What she witnesses is really an assurance that he can trust his son in the hands of these young men. She has also made her decision to believe in them. for the first time since the call that night, she feels that her son would be just fine.
