You don't know me.

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VII

After the long car ride, which was really awkward because we rarely talked. When we did, it be something like "Do you like football?" And I would answer "No." Then the only thing left for Justin to respond with would be "oh." Then it would just go back to the awkward silence. Justin and I made it to his house.

"Hey sweetie." Pattie smiled as I walk into the door. She was sitting on the couch watching Divergent with a bowl of popcorn.

"Hey?" I spoke back, cracking a small smile.

"Hey Justin, why don't you and Brooke head upstairs? I'm having company over." She informed.

"Okay mom." Justin chuckled, racing up the stairs. As Justin scurried up the stairs, I stood at the bottom of the staircase.

"Do you think it's a good idea for me to go up there? Justin doesn't even like me." I whined to Pattie.

"Oh sweetie, Justin is like that to everybody; pay him no attention. He's been through a lot of hardship so he feels the need to take his anger out on everyone else. You're fine. Just head up stairs and be yourself," she smiled.

I trusted her word. Looking at the staircase, I cleared my throat and headed upstairs. Halfway up the stairs, I'm hit with an all too familiar smell. The smell of Newport's filled my nostrils, call me crazy, but the smell of those evil cancer sticks made me feel at home. I remember how mom would argue with dad because she hated the stench.

"David! You know I hate the smell of those things! Put it out, or get the hell out of the house with that!" She yells from the kitchen. Dad looks over to me, we're both sitting on the couch watching a rerun of Hannah Montana, I was 13.

"Your mother can be a crabby witch sometimes," He whispers. I giggle, my daddy is crazy. "Ok Jen! I'm sorry, I'll go out on the porch with it." Dad says, getting up off the couch and walking over to the balcony door. "Well, you coming Brookie-poo?" I smile at my nickname daddy chose for me, and got off the couch walking on the balcony with him.

"You know those things are bad for you?" I asked leaning against the door frame of Justin's room door. He just looks at me and took another deep inhale of the toxic smoke."They're cancer sticks. Keep it up and in about five years, you'll be talking to me through a hole in your throat." I spoke, walking into the room and sitting at the desk in Justin's room.

"My mom tells me the same thing. I don't know, I just love the way they make me feel. They make me feel free for a second. I love just staring at the smoke flow around the room. The smoke is so noticeable, and the longer it's in the air, it slowly starts to lose interest in it's surroundings, and it finally disappears. That's how I wanna be. I'm in the air to long, I've already lost interest in this place, yet I find it very hard to disappear."

Listening to the meaning behind his smoking made me wonder.

Why would such a good looking guy want to disappear?

"Maybe, it's not your time to disappear. Have you thought of it that way?" Asking as I made my way over to Justin's bed, sitting on the corner. Justin didn't reply, he just smashed the cigarette butt into the ash tray that sat in the window seal. I'd be lying if I said I didn't crack a smile.

"I guess you're right. But you don't know me Brooke." He says, turning his body to look at me. "You don't know what I've been through. I know you think I'm a dick, but that's because I'm protecting myself. You don't know half of me. You just don't." I was speechless. His lip trembled as he talked. He wanted to spill. I want him to know that I'm here.

"I know I don't know you Justin. You haven't given me the chance to get to know you. That day at the mall, you were so different. Then the next day, it's like that boy wasn't there anymore. I just don't know how to be your friend? Do you want me here?" I asked staring at his caramel orbs.

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