Scarlett is a 17 year old, dark haired, 'emo fag'. Or, at least that's what she's been called her whole life, and she doesn't remember when she started to believe it.
She's never met her parents, she was put in an orphanage after she was abandoned o...
To say I was nervous was an understatement, I knew this wasn't a date, but at the same time, somewhere in the back of my head, I wanted it to be. I knew I kinda liked Simon, and not like, like like, but just like, as a person. That probably makes no sense what so ever, but, yeah. However, he did kind of intimidate me a little now. After the other day, I didn't exactly know how I felt about being alone with him. Which is why I'm nervous. Because I didn't want him to know I was scared of him. I know that it sounds pathetic, but my feelings are so messed up, and I just really don't know where my heads at.
It had only just gone 7:45, and I decided to go downstairs. Freya came over at about 3 and helped me get ready, and I had just been sat in my room since she left. I don't know how but she did a pretty okay job at making me look okay. She'd gone out and bought me clothes that she thought would suit me and my style, and she got it pretty spot on, she had even done my makeup and made me look pretty decent.
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I sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen just thinking. However I was broken out of my thought process as someone opened the door.
"Hey, where are you off too?" Vikk asked, clearly quite confused,
"Oh, uhm, Simon asked me if I would come out tonight, as an apology, so I said yes,"
"Oh cool, are you sure you're comfortable about going out with him? Alone?" Vikk asked,
"You want the truth?" I sighed,
"Only if you're willing to tell me," He said and sat next to me,
"Well, after the last week or so, my heads a bit mashed up, and the other day with Simon and JJ was just kinda the tip of the iceberg, I trust Simon so much, but I'm not gunna lie to you Vikk, something about his eyes when he started going at JJ terrified me, it felt different to when Josh did, like the fact I trust him made it scarier, the way he just flipped like that, terrified me," The faint sound of the front door closing was heard, I looked at Vikk ad he just shrugged his shoulders,
"Probably just Josh leaving or JJ getting back, but listen, Simon's not ever like that okay, he's one of the least violent people out of our group of friends, don't be scared of him he's genuinely a great guy,"
"Thanks Vikk, its a huge comfort hearing that from someone who's known him for so long,"
"It's okay, and listen, if you ever need me I'm here to talk okay, just knock on my door and you can talk to me,"
"I will, thanks Vikk,"
"No problem Scarlett," And with that he got himself a bottle of water and walked out the room.
I checked the time on my phone and it was 7:56, perfect, I walked out into the hallway and sat on the bottom step waiting.
Waiting and waiting and waiting in fact. 5, 10, 15 minutes went by and Simon was no where to be seen.
Another 10 minutes went by, and I heard footsteps slowly making their way down the stairs, I looked up, hoping it was Simon, but nope, it was Vikk again.
"You're still here?" He asked as he got to the bottom,
"Yeah, just waiting on Simon," I said with a half smile,
"Wait, Simons not come down yet?" Vikk asked,
"No, I've been sat here since we finished talking in the kitchen,"
"Scarlett, Simons not here, his rooms empty, I was checking to see if he had any dishes in his room, he's not here,"
"Oh," I said and looked down to the floor,
"Scarlett, you know earlier,"
"Yeah,"
"I think the door closing may have been Simon leaving, and I don't wanna panic you, but I think the only reason he might have left is because he heard what you were saying,"
"Oh no, oh shit, Vikk, that's the last thing I wanted, no, he can't have heard," I said, slightly panicked,
"Hey, it's okay, I'm sure its fine, tell you what, why don't you go put on some pyjamas and put on a movie, you ca have a girly night in with yourself, there's some chocolate in the cupboard, ice-cream in the freezer," He carried on telling me about the different foods in the house, and each food made me feel more ill.
"I'm not too hungry to be honest Vikk, plus I'm feeling a bit sick, i'm not gunna lie, I think I'm just gunna go to bed," I mean, I wasn't technically lying, because I genuinely felt pretty ill, and dizzy,
"Oh, ok, night Scarlett," "Night Vikk," I hurried out the room and up the stairs, but not to my own room, to Simons, I went in, knowing he wasn't in, and headed straight to his bathroom, hoping and praying that he gad at least one razor that I could dismantle. He did. And I once again did what I promised myself since Jamie died I wouldn't. Except this time, somewhere less noticeable, since Simon and Josh had gotten into the habit of checking my wrists, so I moved to my thighs, high up and discreet, a lot less noticeable. Once I was done I wrapped them and the went to my bed room, and climbed into bed, the night feeling a bit of a blur, and me just feeling pretty numb, my head really was messed up at this point, or maybe I had always been this way, come to think of it, my life has been a series of fuckups, not just from me, but other people as well, and at this point I don't know why I've carried on living it. Those thoughts rushed through my head as I fell to sleep, and I think I might be starting to believe them.
Hey, so, I have no idea where I'm gunna take this story, I have scenes planned out and stuff though, so I'm hoping to use them. I have a question for you guys, so currently I'm feeling like Simon is going to become her love interest, however, I wanna give you guys a chance to decide who it will be. It can be any of the sidemen asides from Josh and Harry. Idk, you guys decide, just lemme know what you think, it's be much appreciated -Katie <3
