Adopted By The Sidemen

|Chapter 27|Damage|

Scarlett's POV

New year was a blur, a blur of drinking, dancing and, you guessed it, tears. I'd spent the past 4 weeks non stop thinking about what I must have done, which, made me relapse, because I must have done something wrong to deserve what happened, was I not pretty enough? Did I mess up at some point? You're probably wondering what happened, well let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.

Me and Simon made our way downstairs, all the boys were there, and Freya, a shit tonne of other people were on their way, which scared me, but a lot of those people were people we were close to, like Cal and Cal, Jamie, Chip. I was kind of excited as well because two of my new found favourite youtubers were coming, Jay Swingler and Romell Henry, also known as TGF, now they were pretty fucking funny.

I immediately grabbed myself a drink, vodka and coke, simple but still packs a punch. We all just mingled with each other until people started arriving, and then shit go crazy, people were singing and dancing and riding down the bannisters, it all got a bit too much by about 11 so I made my way upstairs, but I could still hear everything, so I went into Simons bathroom and sat on the floor, how I made my way there I had no idea, I was dizzy and ready to pass out already, this always happened when I started drinking. I sat there and waited to the feeling to fade, that was until I heard two people burst into Simons room, clearly getting it on, I knew that I should get rid of them, so I walked out into his room, "Hey guys, sorry to spoil the fun, but if you co-" I stopped in my tracks when I saw Simon pinning a girl against a wall with his hand down her panties, he was shirtless and her dress was on the floor next to them, my eyes pooled with tears as me and Simon made eye contact, but that didn't stop him, he carried on, so I walked out, down the stairs, and to the front door, I needed air, and I couldn't get any into my lungs, not enough anyway, I swung the door open and started to walk out, but I tripped on the pebbles because I was wearing heals and fell to my knees, sobbing, and struggling to breathe. About 2 seconds later, someone's arms wrapped around me, "Hey, hey, it's okay," I didn't care who it was, because I knew whatever they were saying was bullshit, I thought I'd finally found someone who really cared, who actually loved me, who wouldn't hurt me, he promised me he would never hurt me, he promised. That's what I get for being gullible once again, I'm done letting anyone else in, so fucking fed up. I shrugged off whoever was holding me and turned to face them, Ethan, of course it was, "Go away Ethan,"

"I can't leave you when you're like this Tee,"

"I'VE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS ETHAN, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU FUCKING LEFT ETHAN, YOU LEFT ME, SO DON'T SAY YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME, WHEN YOU ALREADY DID," I spat and tried to storm away, but he stopped me before I could,

"Which is exactly why I can let you go again, I lost you once and I refuse to again," I sobbed whilst pushing and shoving at his chest,

"Let me go Ethan,"

"Never again," He pulled me closer and I broke down even more, "Cmon, tell me what's up, it's me,"

"I can't," I shook my head, "I, I, just, I," I choked on my words,

"It's okay, breathe, copy me yeah," I rested my head against his chest and listened for his breathing, it always comforted me,

"Simon," I took a deep breath, "He, he cheated, I was in the bathroom and I walked out and he had his hand down some other girls panties, we made eye contact and he just carried on," Ethan was raging, I could feel him shaking out of anger in my arms,

"That fucking cock,"

"Ethan calm do-" Before I could finish my sentence he started walking back inside, I tried to stop him by grabbing his arm, but he shook me off, hard, and I fell to the floor, he turned around and looked back at me to make sure I was okay, then virtually ran inside, I got up as quick as I could and tried to keep up, I could see him storming upstairs, and I knew I was too slow, I also knew I needed a few guys that were at the party to help, and the closest to me right now were Tobi, Romell and Vikk, they'd have to do, "Hey I need your help, I think Ethans gunna hurt Simon, like, really bad and it's all my fault," I was shaking, they all nodded and we virtually ran upstairs to Simons room, but we were too late, Ethan already had an almost naked Simon on the floor, and was hitting Simon with all his strength. It took Tobi and Romell to pull him off and Vikk went over to check on Simon, who was clearly falling in and out of consciousness. I collapsed against the door as I saw the blood pouring from Simons face, and Ethans knuckles, and it was all my fault, all at once, Jay, Josh, Freya, Harry and JJ were at the door. I was shaking on the floor, and I once again couldn't draw the breath into my lungs, JJ and Jay were trying to calm me down, but the only two people who currently could, I either hated or was scared of right now, I stood up and walked as fast as I could to my room, locking the door behind me and leaning against it on the floor. I was scared, scared of Ethan, scared of Simon, scared of what everyone probably thought of me. What I couldn't get my head around ws why Simon would cheat, I thought me and him had a good thing going, I must have done something, was it because of my weight, I knew I'd put on weight since the boys had been monitoring my eating. Or maybe it was the way I look. Why did I fall for another boy, how could I.

Most of that morning was spent by me, sat against my door, crying and sleeping. The people downstairs completely oblivious as to what had just gone on upstairs. No one came to check on me, why would they though? They didn't care about me, not really, the only person I could trust was Ethan, but I couldn't even look at him, I knew I wouldn't be able to. I went to sleep, with those thoughts running through my head.

9 Hours Later

I woke back up to a knock at my door, and I could smell a fry up, it made my stomach turn, and I felt physically ill. But I knew if I didn't take it from whoever was at the door they'd worry, I stood up and unlocked my door, I opened it a crack and saw someone I did not expect to see there. Romell was stood there with a plate of food and a glass of orange juice. Him and Jay were meant to be staying for the next week or so. "You hungry?" I nodded and took them from him,

"Thanks," I started to shut my door but he asked me to wait,

"How are you feeling?"

"Shit," I said and shut the door on him, I know it was rude, but I was gunna throw up if I didn't put this food somewhere, I walked into my bathroom and poured the orange juice down the sink and then went into my closet and pulled out an empty box, I poured the food in there and then went to my desk, I put the plate on there and looked at myself in the mirror, and to say I looked a mess was an understatement, I started to take off my makeup, and saw just how red my eyes were, and I felt like crying even more, last night kept replaying in my head.

Now

So that's where we are now, I hadn't left my room, I had a box and a half of uneaten food, that was starting to smell, of course I had eaten little bits of food that Freya and Vikk had made sure I'd eaten, Simon had tried to see me quite a few times, but every time I heard his voice or his footsteps I'd go silent and hope that he'd think I wasn't there, which I obviously was, and I knew that he knew that, but it seemed to be working so far. I was loosing weight, little by little, so I made sure to wear baggy hoodies and joggers that tied at the top, I also had to wear a lot of make up, to give my skin a bit of life, that was the thing about getting skinny, my bags were extremely obvious, and my cheeks had hollowed out. My skin was a ghost white, but at least I was looking better than I have in a very long time. Well apart from the jagged red lines I'd inflicted on myself, I knew as soon as I did it that I wouldn't be able to stop, that's how it always goes, I always tell myself, one won't do any harm, and then that one turns into 10 then into 20, and so on. I wanted to tell someone so bad, but I didn't want to cause anymore damage than I already had.

Hi, I thought I'd make this chapter longer because we all know I owe it to you, also, since when did we get so close to 5k reads, like, wtf ahhhh, thank you so much ilysm!

-Katie