Scarlett is a 17 year old, dark haired, 'emo fag'. Or, at least that's what she's been called her whole life, and she doesn't remember when she started to believe it.
She's never met her parents, she was put in an orphanage after she was abandoned o...
The past week was pretty relaxed, I was currently sat in my room by myself as all the other boys were busy filming, or at least I thought they were. I was sat on my bed, quite happily singing along to some Melanie Martinez off my computer, then there was a knock on my door. I stood up still humming along and opened the door, "Oh hey Josh,
"Hey, I'm going into city centre, fancy a little shop?" He asked, the other day he'd given me a credit card that him and the guys had gotten for me, which they all agreed to put £100 into each a week, which was slightly irritating, because I really disliked being given things, but then came to the conclusion of 'fuck it' they're all just gunna keep putting money on it anyways.
"Yeah sure, I saw some stuff online I wanted to buy anyways," I smiled, I'd done a bit of online shopping anyways the other day and had a pretty cute outfit I wanted to try out, "Let me just get changed and do my makeup and I'll be right down,"
"Ok, see ya in a min then,"
He walked down the hall and down the stairs, and I walked back into my room and into my wardrobe to try on my new outfit. Which in my opinion was pretty cute.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I tried it on but then got very self conscious as I realised the scars on my arms were very visible and slowly changed my mind as I stared in bathroom mirror at myself. I stood there for a while, hating how my body looked, when all of a sudden my door burst open.
"Hey Scarlett Josh wanted to know if you were ready ye-" Simon turned towards the bathroom and saw me stood there, he went silent and started scratching the back of his neck. I turned towards him and held one arm in my hand and looked towards the ground.
"It looks awful doesn't it?" I said,
He looked up quickly, "No, no, you look gorgeous,"
I looked back towards the mirror, and sighed, "I really don't, look at my arms, they look awful, my bodies sticking out in places it shouldn't," I kept listing off things I thought that were wrong with my body, I was so zoned in on staring at myself I didn't even notice Simon start walking towards me. He grabbed me by my waist and spun me around and kissed me, I froze, I didn't know what to do. He pulled away and looked down at me,
"Scarlett, you're gorgeous, please stop talking like this about yourself, okay?" I didn't know what to say to him,
"I, I need to go downstairs and meet Josh," I hurried past him and grabbed my black zip up hoody from on my bed and raced down the stairs,
"Ready to go?" He asked, I just nodded in response,
3 Hours Later
I'd had a surprisingly happy and fun afternoon with Josh, we'd been to JD, Urban Outfitters, Primark, New Look and Top Shop, it was safe to say I had enough clothes to last me at least two years. I was genuinely happy, and that hadn't happened in a while.
"So, ready for food then?" Josh asked me, it turned my stomach,
"Yeah, what are we having?" I asked,
"Now, if there's one thing you need to know about us guys, its that we literally live off Nando's,"
"Okay, love that for you, so Nando's it is then?"
"Yeah,"
Back Home
I didn't get the chance to 'got to the bathroom' after I'd eaten with Josh and I knew that that'd affect my weight, but I was trying not to think about it for now, as we walked in with a my bags Simon was coming down the stairs and I quickly remembered what happened earlier, and just like that my mood completely dropped.
"Oh hi Simon, can you get these bags, I need to go get mine, can you help her take them up to her room?"
"Yeah sure," He grabbed the bags off Josh and I started walking up the stairs, and I felt insanely awkward, "Good day out then?" He asked,
"Uhm, yeah," I replied,
We got to my room and I put my bags in my wardrobe and started to unpack them all and put them where I wanted them as Simon just stood there awkwardly. "Uh, do you need any help?"
"No I'm good," I replied quickly and just kept pacing around the room putting things away, and he leaned against my door frame watching me, and heck did he look good. But I just couldn't face him properly.
"Scarlett?"
"Uhm, yes?" I replied,
"Are you okay,"
"Yeah why wouldn't I be,"
"Because you've been staring at the same jumper for 5 minutes and you haven't moved,"
"Oh..." I slowly realised that, I had been stood thinking, not pacing at all.
"What's up? Talk to me," He said and walked over to me slowly,
"Nothing, I'm good,"
"Listen, you've been here long enough for me to know when somethings wrong, so just tell me," He said smiling down at me,
"Earlier, why did you kiss me?"
"Oh..." He went quiet, "Just, I don't like you talking about yourself that way, I know you don't see yourself how I see you, and that you don't like yourself like I like you, but you should, you are such a gorgeous girl inside and out,"
"You, you like me?"
"Yes, I didn't wanna tell you this way, but yes I do, a lot," I didn't know what to say, sure I liked Simon, but I wasn't ready for that much commitment again, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I didn't know what to do.
Hi, I'm so sorry this is well over a week late, and not the best chapter in the world at all, but I've kinda had really bad writers block and my aunty died, and stuffs just a bit messed up, but I'm trying, I should be uploading a bit more now
