Chapter One - The Book of Alan

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That night the Earth rose up and shook for the final time, bereft of pity for its careless inhabitants and trapped for too long in hopeless sorrow. The core of a planet, desperate to escape its self-made prison, burst forth with all the blind rage of the habitually abused and broke free, longing to be at peace. Screaming and ruptured, she tore against herself, setting fire to a white-hot rage that filled the air as millennia of compressed tectonic dirt and mineral split open to consume all it touched; Its faith a thousand years broken. After the seismic earthquakes and volcanic eruptions, Australia through to the Philippines splintered and were over-run, swallowed whole by the ensuing tsunami. A cataclysmic event that expedited the inevitable, the moment she began slowing on her axis, preparing to stop and sealing the fate of every living thing that called her home. The closing act of a dying planet. Tears would be cried.

Far away, over the other side of the world in the relative safety of England, Susan sat aghast in her favourite armchair, awash in the cold glow of the television. That evening, when she'd prepared for her quiet night in, she had expected to settle in front of nothing more life changing than a hard-hitting exposé on the nationwide shortage of supermarket crumpets, which was why she found herself altogether emotionally unprepared for the events that were about to transpire. Secure in her quaint little bungalow, upon a quiet leafy cul-de-sac, in the gentle county of Kent, she sat open-mouthed and trembling, unable to take her eyes off the astounding events that now played out before her, she carefully placed her rapidly-cooling herbal tea on the table next to the unopened packet of biscuits and continued to stare in disbelief as the news channel reported its mournful song of devastation. Susan's mouth dried, she swallowed hard, questioning everything she believed true, and continued to gaze in disbelief towards her only companion and beloved pet budgerigar, Darwin. Susan had adopted Darwin from her dear mother when she passed away, not in any hope of replacing her, just as companionship for the lonely, no expectations, yet now, as she locked eyes with her feathery consort, those expectations, or lack thereof, gave way to something entirely new.

Reaching slowly and methodically for the remote control, she turned down the sound, to be perfectly honest, she really hadn't been paying attention to the news or its flamboyant reporter attempting to look sombre, at that particular moment she was far too occupied with staring intently at each of Darwin's ruffled feathers: the vivid greens and yellows against the white of his ornate cage, as if at any moment he may spontaneously combust. His little head tilted as he stared at her with a glassy eyed look of sardonic expectation. Susan opened her mouth to speak and open it remained for some time until...

'Are you seriously going to make me repeat myself,' said Darwin, his voice deep and powerful as if a million voices spoke in unison.

Susan politely cleared her throat of the vibrations lingering in her chest. 'I, I'm terribly sorry...' muttered Susan in a vain attempt to remain composed, 'I, um, If you wouldn't mind. It's just that....' bewilderment trailed off the sentence on Susan's behalf as her mouth once more remained opened.

'For the absolute last time, I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Heaven and Earth, the Creator and Destroyer of all things, I am the Eternal Being, I am what your people have referred to for generations as God and I have come for you, for you have been chosen.' As he spoke, he hopped off his little perch and waddled up to the edge of the antique white Victorian birdcage.

'Oh, right. Yes of course, chosen. Of course,' said Susan trying to hold it together. 'Is this about the bird seed? Because I can always buy a more expensive brand?'

'No, this isn't about... I'm your creator! I created bloody bird seed. If I wanted better bird seed, I'd just summon it. I wouldn't travel all the way down from my ethereal throne to ask for better bird seed.'

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