The God Complex: The Book Of Alan, Destroyer Of Worlds

Chapter Six

'I said wake up!'

A sharp peck to the forehead shot Susan bolt upright from her bed.

'I'm up, I'm up,' Susan slurred still very much in bed.

'Unbelievable,' squawked Alan. 'I leave you alone for a couple of hours and you're already giving up.'

'Oh my no,' said Susan pushing aside the sheets, 'I was just sleeping, we had been up for so long, and your stories, I had to finish writing them.' She ran into the bathroom to wash the sleep from her eyes.

'That was only the beginning of your task, Susan the Unworthy.' Alan ruffled his feathers in mock frustration. 'Perhaps you are not the chosen one after all?'

'No, I am. I am your Taylor Swift!' Yelled Susan running back into the bedroom. 'That is, I mean I am your chosen one, just tell me what you need me to do,'

'What do you need to do?' Said Alan fluttering onto the bedside table, finally getting the hang of having wings. 'You go forth, of course. Out to your people and spread the word of your Lord.'

'Oh, right. I suppose I could write a blog about it,' she said thoughtfully.

'What? No, this has to be done properly, like the greats of old. You need to go into the centre of your village and preach to the masses. That's how it's always been done and that's what you must do. Where do people go to preach in this part of the world?'

'Well, I suppose traditionally people would go to Speakers' Corner but...'

'Then it's settled' said Alan triumphantly. 'To Speakers' Corner with you. Go forth and save your people, Susan the Unworthy!'

'Oh, you mean now?' said Susan after several seconds of silence. 'Yes of course, no time to waste and all that. Should be a doddle,' she said nervously and ran to get her shoes.

Leaving the house the brightness of the day stung her eyes. Susan checked her wrist to realise, in her rush, she had left her watch at home. Still, It felt unusually bright for whatever time of the day it was.

Even with the creator of all things on her side the thought of standing in public and trying to convert everyone to, um, Alanism, she supposed they would call it, still filled her with an underlying sense of dread.

But, she knew there would be tests ahead and if this was truly her calling then she must pluck up all of her courage and venture forth. She was the chosen one after all and must do her people proud. She jumped aboard the very next train and journeyed out into the pages of history.

As she walked up the steps from Hyde Park Corner tube station the warm heat burned her lungs. She had only ever passed Hyde Park on a few occasions and had only ever watched the people in Speakers Corner once before. Frankly they all seemed rather scruffy and unhinged. It was then Susan realised in her haste to save mankind, she had forgotten to get changed out of her pyjamas.

Her face flushed with embarrassment as she reached the northeast corner of the park and cringed at how busy it was. Clearly the news that they only had six months left to live had brought all the lunatics out.

The pavement was awash with people shouting and gesticulating. Venting their spleen of whatever they believed caused the end of all things. Some pointed the finger at the elite who sponged off the working man while others pointed their finger at religion; either the lack of it or specific religions contrary to their own, which all seemed rather unsavoury to Susan.

As onlookers mulled around listening to each speaker, hoping to hear their own brand of generic hate, Susan found herself a spot between a rather weathered looking man with a white beard, who believed the world could still be healed through free love and hugs and a smaller scruffier looking man with a darker shorter beard, who had brought his own platform to stand on, who believed Abaddon Industries was controlled by the Illuminati, who, in turn were in fact aliens from another part of the universe who wanted the world to end so they could sell it for scrap to the highest bidder.

Susan wasn't quite sure how she was going to compete with them, but in the back of her mind she believed that once she started speaking something miraculous would happen. Through her the people would hear the word of Alan and they would know it was the truth. They would hear her words and know what to do. Then they would all pray, make small offerings and sacrifices to Alan and he would save them all.

This was all just a test of her faith to show that she truly believed. She smoothed out her pyjamas, closed her eyes, tried to channel her inner-Alan and prepared to address the gathering audience.

'Excuse me, hello. My name is Susan and I would like to speak to you briefly regarding a rather important topic. As I'm sure you are all aware there are now only six short months left on this planet, but I'm here to tell you it doesn't have to be that way. There is a way out. There is a way for all of us to escape this fate and continue to live. I have met someone who can help us, someone who has the means to rescue us and all he asks in return is so precious little.'

When she dared to open her eyes, she noticed that a small crowd had formed, listening intently to her every word.

'This is it,' she thought. 'It's happening, soon they will be converted and help her to convert more. Salvation was at hand.'

'Now I understand how crazy this must sound, and I also appreciate how I'm dressed probably doesn't add much credibility to my claim, yet you must believe me when I tell you...'

'What is it then?' An old man called out, peering at her through unruly eyebrows.

'Excuse me?' Susan asked.

'The way for us all to escape this planet. What is it?' He yelled impatiently.

'Oh, yes of course. I was visited by the creator of all things you see, and...'

A groan rippled through the gathering crowd.

'It's true!' Susan proclaimed. 'He appeared to me in the form of my pet budgerigar and told me that he would save us all if we believed in him again and worshipped him with offerings and sacrifices.'

'Rubbish!' Yelled a voice in the dispersing crowd.

'It is not,' protested Susan. 'I'm here to teach you how to redeem yourselves and escape towards salvation and paradise. No please don't go, it's really very important.'

'Prove it!' Yelled another.

'Well, I suppose I can't really. He can't just show himself as it defies the point of having faith in him in the first place, but it's all true, I promise you.

Another groan rippled through the crowd as they slowly dispersed towards other speakers, leaving Susan standing in a corner of Hyde Park, in her pyjamas.

She had never felt so alone.

As she walked back through the door of her bungalow, she was immediately greeted by an excitable Alan eager to hear how it went.

'They don't believe me,' she said disheartened.

'What do you mean they don't believe you? You told them about the paradise I showed you, right? And how all I want in return are a few little worships, prayers and sacrifices?'

'They have heard promises like that so often they no longer believe the truth when it's spoken to them; they now want proof. Oh, it's hopeless, it would take a miracle to save us now.'

'Of course!' Said Alan, his wings flapping uncontrollably. 'It's so obvious! What was I thinking? After all that's how all the great religions started. A little showmanship to wow the commoners.'

'Sorry?' Said Susan confused.

'Nothing!' squawked Alan getting back into character. 'If it is a miracle thy need, Susan the Unworthy then it is a miracle thy shall have. You will venture forth once more into the masses and you will tell them your creator has promised you safe passage off this dying planet and mark my divine words, Susan. By the time you finish your sermon, a miracle you shall have.'

With that Alan, Destroyer of Worlds, potential saviour of all mankind, left the body of Darwin and set to work.

'SQUAWK!' Squawked Darwin.

'Oh my.' Said Susan.