The God Complex: The Book Of Alan, Destroyer Of Worlds

Chapter Fifty-Four

They bid each other a good night and Gabe staggered out of Jaibles volcano and into the driving rain. A veil had been lifted and the light of doubt shone harshly across everything and everyone in Gabe's world.

Walking back with Pembo to their little cottage by the stream, he hardly uttered a word. Pembo laughed and teased him with how silly he was being and how easily Jaibles had wound him up. 'But what if...' was all Gabe could think as they passed out of Jaibles paradise and into the cracks between.

Crawling into bed Pembo kissed him goodnight and told him of their exhilarating plans for tomorrow, which immediately eased his mind - she could always put him at ease... but how? How can one person always immediately put you at ease? He sat up and searched her face as she sunk into a sweet and restful sleep, desperate for any confirmation she was the real Pembo, the one he risked his life for, the one he shared that first magical kiss with in the never-ending tunnels of Planet Battenberg, racking his brain for just one occasion she got on his nerves or let him down...nothing.

He suddenly felt short of breath and climbed out of bed desperate to get out into the cold night air - he needed space to think, to clear his head. He could deal with his memories, he knew they weren't real, but not here, not between The Cracks, not in the world they'd created together. The lines were disappearing and it was taking his sanity with it.

He kept thinking back to how he found them all together, just wandering the fields of his imagination. What were the chances? And Monkey: he needed to find him to know he was safe and there he was. The convenience of it all kicked him hard in the chest.

This wasn't supposed to be happening, this was supposed to be the easy bit, the happy ending, the happily ever after. He'd survived God; survived the Holy War and got the girl - got his own personal paradise! But what good was paradise if he couldn't share it with her.

In the distance a familiar figure caught his eye - he was too far away to see clearly but to Gabe he was unmistakable. Everything in this world was designed to make him happy - everything but him, which now made his dead brother the only real person in Gabe's world. If there was even the slimmest chance that the real Pembo was out there somewhere, he had to find out. He'd nearly lost her once and it was more than he could bear.

He walked purposefully towards Nate. If he was here, he was here for a reason. As he neared, Nate turned and walked off beckoning him to follow. - Gabe instantly saw him with young eyes again, remembering the countless adventures he'd followed him on, chasing down that worn leather jacket, desperate to keep up. They walked on for hours, passing through the periphery of his memories: the hanger that housed the Archangel for so many years, the greying east London tower block he lived with Tiffany, the condensation planet they found Dawkins - all deserted, always just passing through, never stopping. Then he smelt the warm, fragrant notes of marzipan and knew where they were heading. Gabe stopped and watched as Nate walked across the soft orange sand in the gentle glow of twilight and disappeared into the waters of the lake as if falling down a deep hole.

He ran to the edge of the bank and looked out at the same waters he looked upon with Pembo by his side, before Susan joined them and everything changed. The fading light of the twin suns hit the shimmering water, as it did then, instantly transforming it into a glassy portal to a new world. Thinking only of Pembo, he stepped into the water and vanished.

On the other side was nothing, an empty canvas for Gabe to start again. A second Paradise, parallel to the one he created with "Pembo". A dark corner to sit and think in, free from the living memories of those he cared about. He just needed a little time to work out what he was going to do; work out how he could prove she was the real Pembo. Nate was a part of this, he just didn't know why.