The God Complex: The Book Of Alan, Destroyer Of Worlds

Chapter Thirty-Six

"SHUTTLE 'S NEWS' UPDATE: All praise Lord Alan and his Tasks of Redemption, now in HD on S News One. Catch up on all the thrills and spills of your favourite Champions as they battle for our redemption, then at 9pm Central Fleet Time, tune in for our touching tribute to the fallen. Only on S News One. Paradise Awaits."

Susan raised her crystal tumbler and breathed in the vintage brandy swilling inside.

'Gentlemen, may I propose a toast?'

The Officers sat around the opulent dining table, in the private observation room, atop the SS KENT COUNTY COUNCIL 4B and each clinked cutlery against their glasses and boisterously cheered each other, as the waiters cleared the remains of the five-course meal.

'To our Lord and Saviour: Alan, if these past few tasks have shown us anything, it's that we must do more to prove ourselves worthy of his forgiveness, in the hope that he will lead us all to Paradise.'

'TO ALAN,' they cheered in unison.

'You know,' continued Susan, 'this reminds me of the parable of the greedy restaurateur from the Book of Alan: Two restaurateurs with talented chefs each open a restaurant, each serving fine cuisine. As the restaurants became successful, one heaped praise on his chef, admiring his craft and ability to create art from the raw, ungrateful ingredients found in the dirt, so he booked him a lovely holiday and worshiped him with blood sacrifices.'

The officers all leaned in, eager to please their guest of honour.

'The other restaurateur was greedy and selfish and just assumed his chef would cook such wonderful food for him forever, and if he didn't, he would simply replace him with another chef - one that's popular with celebrities because he cooks with a trendy, unworkable new philosophy that comes with a bracelet. The humble restaurateur got a second Michelin star, became rich beyond his wildest dreams and married into royalty, while the arrogant restaurateur was trampled by a stampede of feral badgers.'

The officers each sagely nodded their heads to each other, appreciating its apparent meaning before applauding politely.

'Well gentleman, I must thank you once again for your generous hospitality, but I really must be going - humanity won't redeem itself,' she said with a wry smile.

The Captain rushed to her side to pull back her chair, then waited on one knee to kiss her hand.

Servants opened the doors and she glided out, flanked by her personal security detail of Military Police dressed entirely in Royal Blue, with gold trim and carrying her sigil of a silver budgerigar on their chest and flowing capes.

'Finally,' she thought, finally she was getting the respect and dignity her authority deserved - If only her Mother could see her now. For too long obnoxious men have assumed their own importance and look where that got everyone? Well now it was the turn of powerful women, now it was Susan's turn.

Passing crew members fell to their knees as Susan passed, making her way to the mezzanine above the Great Communal Hall, Basement Level One, Block Q.

'It was important,' thought Susan, 'to reconnect with her loyal subjects at least once a day.'

As the doors swung open, she was welcomed with rapturous applause and adulation. Susan held a single hand aloft and a hushed silence filled the hall.

'My dear people, your Lord, Alan has asked me to read a new verse added to the Book of Alan this very day, a passage written by God on how best we can make amends.'

Susan caught sight of her pet budgerigar fluttering down from the rafters to perch himself on one of the many television screens that was currently showing Dominique interviewing a crew of Military Police champions, they were each dressed in the same shiny black skin tight uniform with a silver lightning bolt across their chest.