The God Complex: The Book Of Alan, Destroyer Of Worlds

Chapter Twenty-Five

"BREAKING 'S NEWS' ALERT: This will be our last broadcast from Planet Earth, but rest assured S News will continue to be your best and only source of news across the fleet, providing unparalleled access to Supreme leader Abaddon's search for our new home. So from all at the S News team, we wish you a happy evacuation and we'll see you in space. We leave you with the winning entry of the 'A goodbye letter to Earth' competition, by Chump Buckley, a long-time fan of the show."

'Extinction zero, Abaddon one. Screw you Planet Earth, humans won!'

'Which one of you has the wrench?' Came the submerged voice of Monkey, waist deep in the shuttles engine.

'Absolutely no way, I'm not calling it the Mighty Tagnut,' said Gabe defiantly as he helped Jaibles hold up the fuel pre-burner OX valve for Monkey to tighten into place.

'Fine,' said Jaibles, straining against the weight of the valve. 'It doesn't have to be the Mighty Tagnut, I've got lots of ideas. You have to understand Gabe, I'm only thinking of you, choosing the shuttle's name is a huge deal, it will come to define you. It's like picking a good band name, get it right and you could be the universe's next Black Sabbath, Nirvana or Led Zeppelin, get it wrong and you end up the next Village People, Boney M or Ed Sheeran.'

They had been in the engine room for the last two days piecing it back together and the shuttle's name was the only topic of conversation.

'Geezers, I need the wrench in here.' Monkey's voice was beginning to get frantic.

'I want to be taken seriously, that's all,' said Gabe.

Jaibles looked over at him. 'What's your point?'

'My point is,' continued Gabe. 'I'm not sure I will command the level of respect and seriousness I'm after, flying around in the SS Five Knuckle Shuttle or the SS Lust in Space.'

'WRENCH! Screamed Monkey

'Alright, alright keep your beard on, you only had to ask,' said Jaibles, passing him the wrench from his pocket.

'Look Gabe, it's very easy to criticise but I don't see you coming up with anything. What about SS Shuttle McShuttleface or SS Tiffany's a heartless wench? Or the SS Essess?'

'Or the SS Negative Space, or the SS Vapour Compression Shuttle? Came the muffled voice of Monkey.

Gabe banged his head against the valve in frustration.

As the night sky lightened over those final few days, they worked tirelessly to get the shuttle finished. As promised, Jaibles and Monkey arrived each day from YAMA with more component parts, equipment and a few soft furnishings to really brighten up the place, determined to get her space worthy before evacuation day, but it was more work than could ever be done by three men in four days.

On the final night, they admitted defeat.

'Geezer,' said a grease stained Monkey, 'I'd say you've probably got a couple more days' work on that engine and then she'll be a nippy little thing, 'I'm just sorry we couldn't have got her ready in time.'

They walked outside and stood in the warm morning glow of 11:30pm and looked up at the EX.

In that brief moment Gabe had never felt so content and assured for the future, even if he had to face it alone.

He knew Jaibles and Monkey had to go, just as he knew he could never ask them to stay - to sacrifice the security and reassurance of the YAMA shuttle just to make his dream of exploring more comfortable.

Yet he already felt nostalgic for the few short days they spent together working on it.

He missed them before they had even left.

'I honestly can't thank you enough,' said Gabe, finally breaking the silence.

'You're going to be fine,' said Jaibles. 'You've got the parts, the tools, the manuals and by my calculations,' he crouched down and felt the ground. 'At least another six weeks before the Earth implodes.'

Gabe laughed but they could see the sadness in his eyes. Unable to put into words the precarious uncertainty of their future and the poignancy of the moment, they simply hugged.

As they slowly drove away, he wondered if he'd ever see his friends again.

The entire population of Earth was packing up its belongings ready to ship out, all except Gabe.

He wanted to see Tiffany one last time, tell her she was wrong, tell her he'd spent too long trying to be the man she wanted him to be and now he was going to just be Gabe, and that was okay.

There was also something he couldn't leave this earth without.

He never got the chance. When he went to the apartment, she was already gone. He walked through each room hoping to find a note or a message from her, something he could hold onto, something he could get angry about, instead he found only remnants of her make-up by the mirror where she used to get ready, only space behind the door where her coats once lived, only watermarks in the bathroom where her toiletries were once placed - only the absence of life.

He made his way to the wardrobe, wide open and scattered with coat hangers. Under the pile of empty dry cleaning bags, he saw what he was looking for.

He picked up his brother's old leather jacket, dusted it off and put it on. It felt cold and stiff but that was okay, it would warm up in no time and he already felt better for putting it on.

When the sun rose for the very last time, bathing London an ominous shade of 'Recurrent Glory,' Gabe was stood on the balcony of the 24th floor apartment of the beige flat, with the beige walls, in the greying tower block of the east London suburb he had once lived and watched for hours as shuttle after shuttle ferried the planet's ungrateful inhabitants into space, leaving him behind.

He imagined Jaibles and Monkey already on board and fighting over who had the best room and smiled to himself.

He knew he'd see them again, even if it was just for the occasional visit.

Once the bulk of the shuttles had left and the streets were quiet, Gabe gathered the remainder of his possessions into a bag, dropped his keys into the bowl next to Tiffany's and walked out of the flat for the last time.

He found a car open on the street and made his way to the hangar, watching as the final few rockets blasted out of the Earth's atmosphere leaving behind a trail for Gabe to follow in a couple of days.

By the time he got to the hanger, he had declared himself the last man on Earth. The thought terrified him as he walked through the open door of the hanger and reprimanded himself for leaving it open overnight. It was unnecessarily careless of him.

Inside, the ramp to the EX was down and fresh wet footprints trailed inside the shuttle, he knew for a fact he shut it when he left last night.

His pulse raced as he slowed his pace and grabbed the heaviest tool to hand.

If there was a bloodthirsty gang of looters in there, he probably wasn't going to cause much damage with a spirit level, but if they were taking his shuttle apart then he was dead one way or another anyway.

Better to go relatively quickly, spanked to death by your own spirit level than slowly waiting for the world to end.

He crouched down, hugging the side of the EX until he was next to the ramp. He quieted himself trying to hear how many looters he was up against, trying to formulate a plan that would give him at least a half chance of surviving this.

Then he heard them - those twelve words.

Twelve words he'd heard countless times before, twelve words that now filled him with confusion, hope and joy.

Twelve words that left him welling up outside a space shuttle at the end of the world, clutching a spirit level.

'Coincidently, that was the name of my first punk band at college.'

Gabe slowly walked up the ramp of his EX as the third to last man on Earth.

'Alright Geezer! Want to hand me that spanner over there?'

End of part one...