The God Complex: The Book Of Alan, Destroyer Of Worlds

Chapter Fifty-Five

Behind the bar in all his sleazy glory stood the lead singer Gabe tried so hard to emulate that fateful night - his long hair was as black as night, his face pale and gaunt even under the warm lights of the bar. He methodically wiped a glass with an old cloth as he spoke.

'Baby, don't act surprised, you knew where I'd be. I see a change in you, a light that's dimmed, and I'd sure hate to think it's because of me.'

Gabe put his head on the bar as Levi filled the clean glass full of bourbon and pushed it towards him.

'You can fish for your truth, baby - tie your bait and cast your line, but I can't give you what you want, kid. Takes up too much of my time'

'Look,' said Gabe, frustrated. 'If all you're going to do is quote your own song lyrics at me then this really isn't going to help.'

'Ain't it, kid? You put me here - ain't my subconscious that's filtered in fear.'

'I didn't do this,' protested Gabe. 'I've been deliberately trying to avoid this,' he said gesturing around the bar.

'Hmm,' said Levi, refilling Gabe's glass and looking out to the crowd behind him. 'Seems they cut their own parole. The dyes been cast on this dead moon, nothing left but your damaged soul.'

'But why?' said Gabe, desperately.

'Hey,' said Levi. 'I love the smell of pain as much as the next freak, but it don't keep me alive. Know what I'm sayin?'

'Not even a little bit,' said Gabe, knocking back the second bourbon and letting Levi refill it. 'But if you're part of my subconscious then you're here to help me, right?'

'I know as much as you, kid, but it seems to me you buried something long ago, under rain and cloud and brick. Well now it's clawed its way out and it's coming for you, and baby it's makin' you sick.'

'You mean him, don't you?' Gabe didn't have to look round to know his leather jacket was sitting quietly in the corner of the now empty bar. 'But why?'

'Cos of you, kid,' said Levi. 'You gotta stand in the rain and shake hands with pain. Put aside your soft refrain, cos we're all sick of hearing you complain.'

Gabe went to argue back, but gave up when he realised he was just arguing with himself.

'You paid your dues, kid, and lived a thousand lives since then. Time to ask a little forgiveness, so the healing can begin.'

'I don't know how,' replied Gabe, exhausted.

'That's what you gotta figure out, kid. All I know is you got a celestial itch and it won't go away. I can show you my light, but it won't turn night into day.'

'Then what's the point of all this?' yelled Gabe. 'I need to find Pembo, I need to find out if she's real, I can't deal with this shit as well.'

Levi propped himself against the back of the bar and started polishing another glass. 'You don't want my questions, kid? Well I don't want your lies. The only time I know she's real is when she laughs or cries. Why do you think it's happening, kid, in your world of happiness - the warning signs were everywhere, yet you still chase that sweet caress? Your world is in God's pocket, your future on his plate, but can't you hear the wind that whispers, tellin' you it's fake?'

'I shouldn't be here,' said Gabe. 'This isn't living. We were going to explore the universe, we were setting out on one last adventure...'

'Time is movin on my friend and there are two doors for you to choose. Only one can bear your name, with everything to lose.' Levi shook his head as he went to the other side of the bar to leave Gabe to his thoughts. 'Dead planets ain't no fun, kid.'