The God Complex: The Book Of Alan, Destroyer Of Worlds

Chapter Thirty-Eight

'I'm not wearing it and that's that!'

'For Alan's sake, Gabe, it's just a uniform, we're all wearing one,' said Jaibles starting to get annoyed.

'It is a bit snug, Geezer.'

'Oh don't you start. I try to give us a little bit of style, a little sartorial elegance and all I get in return from you ingrates is criticism.'

'Jaibles, it's pink! It's a pink lycra jumpsuit with silver angel wings! What were you thinking?'

'Firstly, it's fucsia, secondly, it makes a bold statement about the fluid notion of masculinity and thirdly, all the other colours had already been taken.'

'But why are you even engaging with them on this? You do remember they tried to kill us,' yelled Gabe.

'That was Abaddon, this is Abaddon Productions, a completely separate enterprise. I met with Dominique and he was pretty fabulous about the whole thing - we need to build a brand, Gabe, make the Archangel stand for something - that's why I agreed to the interview.'

'You did what?'

The ComsLink buzzed and Jaibles nudged Gabe out the way to accept the call. On their screen flashed up the fabulous looking Dominique.

'Dommy baby!' sang Jaibles, 'how's it hanging?'

'Ya alright m'loves, I just wanted to get a bit of one-on-one time with you three before we go live on the interview, yer know, show you how special you are to us. Dominique's voice was warm and disarming, 'and just look at what you've done with your EX, it's fabulous, just love the rustic look you've gone for, so Old World.'

'She's not much but we call her home,' beamed Jaibles, 'so what's this interview about? Is it a hard hitting expose or more of a raunchy kiss and tell.'

'Oh it's just fun TV stuff! You'll love it, we want to give the people a little showbiz entertainment, something to take away the trauma of everyday, post-apocalyptic life; we want to show the fleet the real you, show them the drama and excitement of your lives - people are crying out to know what you're thinking.

'You really don't want to hear what we're thinking,' said Gabe, still staring at his jumpsuit.

'This is a massive opportunity for you,' smiled Dominique conscious of time, 'you know after the unfortunate episode with the Koreans, you're now top of our leaderboard, but what you might not know, is how highly you track in all our consumer polls; how many more high-fives and shares an article gets when you three are the focus. M'loves, the Fleet adores you, so this is your one opportunity to make a first impression, let everyone know who you are and what you stand for. If you play this right, you could be set for life - heroes of the new world!'

'We won't let you down, Dom!'

'Great! We're going to have a lot of fun - Okay, gotta dash! We'll be coming to you in five.'

The screen went blank as Jaibles smiled manically at Gabe, his eyebrows dancing wildly.

'I'm not wearing it and that's that.'

The programme returned to a view of a distant far away galaxy, beautiful in its pristine silence. A single shooting star tore across the sky as the image gradually panned across, widening to reveal the mountainous form of Alan, Destroyer of Worlds. Glowing and thundurus in his full form.

'Is... is this thing on? Really? Okay... MY CHILDREN,' God boomed, 'your path to redemption is long, perilous and fraught with introspection. As in any broken relationship, those in the wrong - which is you - must look deep within yourselves and destroy the very part of you that made you the selfish, self-absorbed wretch that ruined our relationship in the first place. In this task, your Champions must come face to face with their demons - demons of their own creation; demons from the darkest recesses of their mind. To redeem themselves and all of you, they must defeat the very part of themselves that held them back from fully embracing their love for me. So, go forth and face your darkest fear and prove you are now worthy of receiving my love once more.'