A Symphony of Devotion: The Start [Demi Lovato]

[18] Clinomania

I wake to the sound of puking, and sit up to find the space beside me empty. I stare into the darkness, squinting as I check for the time on my phone. Four am. Why am I up, again?

The bathroom light flicks on, and Devonne's illuminated figure appears in the doorway, answering my question for me.

"You okay?" I call out down the half-lit room, my voice raspy with the hours of sleep.

"Head hurts." The light is switched off, and Devonne's warm body tumbles into the bed beside me moments later.

The blonde immediately snuggles up to me, and I pull her closer, thankful that her new closeness hasn't disappeared in the past time of unconsciousness on her part. "Go back to sleep," I whisper, stroking her hair. "I'll get you some stuff for that tomorrow."

Devonne nods against my neck, and she falls asleep instantly. I stay awake at first, then start drifting in and out of sleep for the next three hours until my curtains automatically slide an inch open to let a meagre amount of sunlight in at exactly 7am. Devonne is still cradled in my arms, her lips slightly parted as she gives a light snore.

It's around eight when Devonne groans and starts stirring in my arms.

"Good morning," I whisper to the girl. "How was your sleep?"

Devonne freezes in my arms as her eyes open wide. "Kenzie?" Then she pushes away from me and sits up. "Oh my God. Fuck my life." She gives a cough and her face pales. "I think I'm going to throw up."

I gesture towards the bathroom as I sit up as well, tears stinging my eyes when I recognize the terror that reigns in her expression. The guilt. The regret.

My hope vanishes again. Sober Devonne is the real Devonne. Drunk Devonne was the knocked up, messed up version. Alcohol fucked with her brain. What was I thinking? That we would slip back to our happy, flirty normal just because of a dozen bottles of alcohol and one drunk ex-girlfriend? I wish.

Well, technically, I did. But still.

Devonne stumbles out of the bathroom a few minutes later, and frantically begins stuffing her phone and wallet into her bag.

"Where are-" I start, but Devonne interrupts me.

"I'm sorry." Her eyes are terrified when they meet mine. "For last night. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, obviously, I wasn't thinking, but, God, I'm sorry."

Tears glisten in my eyes, and Devonne takes half a step towards me, her eyebrows creased with worry. "No, no, please don't cry!"

I bring my hands up to wipe away the small droplets that streak down my cheeks. "Don't leave," I try to get out, although my voice is choking with the knowledge that she will. "Please don't go."

Devonne's face twists with pain as she runs to me, and I relish being in her arms for those few seconds before she takes them off me. "I'm so sorry," she repeats.

"Stop saying that," I mumble, as I rub a hand over my face again. "Why do you keep saying that?"

My heart breaks a little more when I see Devonne pick her backpack up and sling it over her shoulder. "Because I am." There's genuine sadness on her face, but it doesn't mean anything because she's not staying.

"For what?" I scramble out of bed, only to drop to my knees when my shaking legs aren't able to support my body weight.

Devonne shifts toward my direction, as if wanting to help me up, but then she shakes her head and keeps to herself.

"For giving you hope."

I barely catch those whispered words before a tear streaks down Devonne's cheek and she disappears out the doorway. There's a raw, gnawing ache inside me, but I don't cry.

Instead, I move myself back several inches until I'm sitting in the tight space beneath my bedside table, my knees pulled up to my chest and my head resting on them as I avoid hitting the underneath of the table with it.

Numb.

That's all I can feel now, because I should've expected it. I'm such a fucking idiot. And now Devonne knows that too. I'm an idiot, and I'm naive, and I'm gullible..

Somehow, someway, I fall asleep in that position, my muscles uncomfortably cramping throughout the day but being surprisingly able to sleep for hours.

It's in my sleep that I finally begin crying. My cheeks are wet when I wake and hear the first shout, but Devonne is still the first thing on my mind.

"Matt, pass me the damn ball!"

My eyes open, and I feel the first stinging of my muscles cramping.

"Pass me the ball!"

"We're not supposed to play ball inside, you know that!"

There's a loud crash, and I wriggle out of the small space, grimacing at my numb butt. Then my door gives a slight shake, and I quickly stand up, overwhelmed with a need to understand what was going on outside the room.

"Look what you flippin' did! Mr Stone is going to be so pissed!"

I run to the door, opening it, and am almost hit by a ball, which Matt hurriedly grabs. The shattered remains of what used to be a vase lies on the floor, the culprit obviously one of the three boys standing before me. Matt, Zack, and my ten year old cousin.

"Oh my god." I pause for a couple seconds to gather my thoughts. "What happened here?"

Matt glares at Kevin, the twin twerp. His twin is nowhere to be seen, though. "Ass wanted to play ball inside. I warned him not to, but then he just went ahead and broke that vase. It's an antique!"

Kevin only just about has time to sneer at Matt before my father turns a corner and moves angrily to meet us. "What is going on here?" His eyes scan us, then land on Zack. "Zack, who's the blame for this?"

Kevin's eyes meet mine, and his lips spread into a mischievous grin before he points to me. "Kenzie did it!"

Matt slaps a hand over the boy's mouth before I can even defend myself. "We all did it," He tells my dad fairly. "All of us except Kenzie. She only came out to see what all the noise was about."

My father raises an eyebrow at me, like he can't believe I'm actually behaving well, and I only shrug, then go back into my room, leaving him to settle the kids outside.

I blank out the shouting I hear, neither crying nor smiling as I get into bed and pull the covers over my head. I'll see Devonne tomorrow. I'll settle things with her tomorrow, I promise. I just have to see her tomorrow. I have to.

Clinging onto those thoughts, I force myself to fall asleep, telling myself that it'll make tomorrow come sooner. I need to see Devonne, and I don't care about anything else until I do.

I really, really just don't care anymore.

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this chapter was really short im sorry but vote and comment and ill update sooner!!