A Symphony of Devotion: The Start [Demi Lovato]

[27] Arsenic

I've never been in a coma before. Even when they had to operate on me in Britain, they never put me in a one. Painkillers, yes, but, coma? No.

This must be how it feels, though. Shocked. Paralyzed. Wanting to say something but being unable to voice the words.

She can't be talking to me. She never talks to me. Why's she talking to me?

I find myself sitting up involuntarily, an unsteady smile on my lips. "Hi."

I detect the relief on Devonne's face; she hadn't expected me to reply. Figures.

Devonne has an elbow on the desk, and rests her head on the hand of that arm. She smiles genuinely, but doesn't say anything. I begin to fidget with the end of my sleeve, my fingertips brushing against the bandage I have on beneath it as my eyes drop to my lap.

I attempt to make conversation, although I still don't dare to raise my eyes. "So you're not sitting in front today?"

"I was thinking that I need a change in view," Devonne laughs. "And, might I say, I have a very, very pretty view here."

I don't even have to look up to know that she's making those flirty eyes that I used to fall so hard for.

This whole conversation is making me uncomfortable. Devonne's acting like the last few weeks didn't happen. Like we're suddenly picking up right where we left off. It's wrong. So wrong. I have a boyfriend now. One that I honestly, truly love.

But I can't explain how good it feels when she flirts with me. I can't explain how I thought I was happy before, but now I'm filled with an entirely new kind of joy that surpasses anything that I've felt earlier. I can't explain the comfort I derive from that she's finally talking to me again.

I give an absent nod, attempting to push my feelings down to make myself feel less guilty about the betrayal I feel toward Julian. Then I rest both my elbows on my desk, hanging my head between my arms in a subtle try to block Devonne out.

But then I hear her giggle right at my ear as her breath hits the back of my neck, and jump in my seat when I turn and see her face hovering over mine. I bite down on my lower lip, hiding my face as I surpress the chills that run down my spine.

"Hey," Devonne whispers in my ear, a smile evident in her voice. "Let's play a game."

What is wrong with this girl today? Did she get into an accident and develop amnesia?

"So, rules of the game," Devonne continues, giggling in my ear. "I'll kiss you on the neck, and you try not to moan."

I shove Devonne away from me as the teacher walks in, now completely and utterly creeped out by her sudden behavior of irrationality. Pain; a memory, is trying to squeeze out of the confines of my head and play out.

And that's when I realize what is causing that unexplainable familiarity. Devonne is acting just like Kayleigh did right before she became all psyco.

I hold my head in my hands, trying to steady my breathing as my eyes screw shut on their own accord.

I cannot have another Kayleigh in my life. I'll break.

I take in breaths through the gaps in between my fingers, my eyes darting open when I hear Devonne's voice at my ear again.

But now her tone is quiet; serious. The way it used to be before. "What are you thinking about?"

"I don't know," I whisper, then shake my head. "Nothing."

Devonne lets up after that. I'm grateful that she doesn't say a word as we do the pairwork together, although a part of me is dying to talk to her like we did before since she obviously isn't ignoring me anymore.