A Symphony of Devotion: The Start [Demi Lovato]

[31] Turquoise

I wake up screaming; my body automatically starting to wrench itself into a sitting position but being held back. This restraint instantly sends me into a panic, and I begin to frantically shove away the arms that refuse to let me leave, so unused to this form of touch.

Then I hear her voice. "Shh, shh, baby, it's just me. Relax. Are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"

I fall back onto Devonne's chest, crying, as my nails dig into my own palms. "I'm scared," I gasp out. "It was so real."

"Baby, it's okay, it's not real, all right? I won't let anything hurt you. Just go back to sleep."

I can't sleep. Not after this. The nightmare still haunts my mind; destroys all other thoughts. Most people forget their dreams easily, but when mine are just memories that break into my unconsciousness, I can't be expected to forget those.

There's a few minutes of quiet, periodically interrupted by the sound of breathing, and then Devonne pushes herself further down the covers to the same level as me. "Kenz?" She whispers. "Are you still awake?"

I nod, exhaling a shaky breath as I bring my hands up to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Then Devonne's pulling me to her again, my cheek resting against her neck as her arms snake around my body. "Tell me what I can do to make you feel better," she whispers. "I'll do anything."

I doubt Devonne's ability to do anything more to comfort me, since the feeling of her arms around me alone is making me feel a lot better than before, but then I find myself mumbling, "Sing."

There's a pause.

"Oh, honey, I wish I could, but I can't." Devonne's voice is layered with worry. "I'm sorry. Anything but that. Do you want to talk about your nightmare? Get it out of your system, maybe?"

I shake my head against Devonne as a soft sob leaves my lips and I unconsciously clench my fist around the material of her shirt. "Sing," I whimper. "Please."

I can hear Devonne swallow hard. "Okay." Then, in an incredibly sweet voice, she begins singing. "Music starts playing like the end of a sad movie. It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see. 'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down. Now I don't know what to be without you around."

"You sound so much like her," I whisper, as my eyes slide shut.

"Like who?"

"Demi." My voice breaks a little as I mumble the name, and I shift away from Devonne, only to have her hug me closer to her at the next moment. "You just look so much like her." Tears are starting to stream down my cheeks again for a reason I can't explain. "And you sound so much like her. And you laugh and sing just like her, and it's driving me crazy. And it upsets me sometimes, that maybe I only like you because you look like her, and then I feel like a hypocritical bitch."

Devonne releases a small laugh. "Baby, I'm not Demi, if that's what you're trying to imply. For one, my hair is blonde. Hers is brown. And she doesn't have glasses. Besides, she's much prettier and more talented than I could ever be."

"That's not true." My eyes are open now, staring into the darkness at nothing as I attempt to decipher what I'm trying to say before it leaves my lips. "I think you're gorgeous."

She laughs again. "Well, thank you, babygirl. And, at any cost, I don't have Demi's tattooes." Devonne holds one wrist up for me to look at through the semi-darkness in the room. "See? Nothing. It's just a coincidence that we look alike, I guess."

My mind stars to relax, bits of the nightmare drifting away as I automatically begin to playback Devonne's words in my head. And it's in my half-asleep daze that I realize, I like when she calls me things like 'baby' and 'babygirl'. It makes me feel like I'm special to her.