A Symphony of Devotion: The Start [Demi Lovato]

[26] Saudade

One day passes. Then another, and another, and another. And all that while, I find myself completely and irrevocably falling in love with Julian Ray Ross.

Devonne doesn't even matter anymore. I've come to terms with both myself and the imaginative figure of her, and found it to be the wisest and healthiest choice for me to do my best at attempting to move on with my life and pushing Devonne out of my mind.

To be entirely truthful, I cannot say that I have not cried over the girl or found myself longing for her when I look at old pictures of the two of us together in the period of time that I've started experiencing genuine love for Julian, but the chances of that happening is slight, and that's a start.

I've stopped having to act behing happy most of the time, I've stopped craving every time Devonne and I come into contact, and I've stopped spending so much time obsessing over old pictures. It's a start, at least.

It's been almost a month now since Kayleigh came to our school. Devonne's been ignoring me for the last three weeks. It's been extremely difficult wrapping my head around the fact that she hates me now, but I'm getting used to it, I guess. You can get used to anything.

Except going to school at eight in the morning. Sixteen years, and I'm still not used to it. My usual half-happy, half-pissed off at everyone, smile is on my face as I walk up the steps of the school, a light bounce in my step as I head to Julian's locker.

"Hey, baby."

I turn to see Julian holding a bouquet of flowers, and smile as I drop back to walk by him. "Hey back at you."

He holds the flowers up. "I just wanted to remind you that I love you."

Two minutes into school grounds, and this boy has already made my day a whole lot better.

"Aw, thanks, Jules. I love you too."

Julian frowns as he opens my locker for me to put the flowers in. "Do not call me Jules. That's a girl's name."

"You love me," I laugh, as I wrap my arms around his neck. "And I love you, Jules."

I stuff my textbooks for Spanish class into my bag, my hand automatically slipping into Julian's as we head for my class.

"So you have music today, right?" Julian asks.

My heart constricts as I answer. "Yes."

Julian's attempt at a smile makes mine fade. "Well, have fun with Devonne."

I sigh as I stop us both in our tracks and hug the boy. Devonne might be out of my life right now, but no one said things would be easy. Kayleigh, for example, is an obstacle in my life, because although she's extremely fond of skipping school, there's still times when our class schedule clashes and we're forced to interact; her with her usual flirty, cocky demeanor, and me with fear and one-word answers.

"Jules," I start, as my lips brush over his when I talk. "You know you have nothing to worry about, yeah?" I drop back to my feet, releasing my hold. "Besides," I add, as I begin walking again. "She hates me."

"Three weeks and counting," I mutter under my breath, as that same gnawing ache creeps its way into my body.

I still miss Devonne. It's inevitable, even after the weeks that we've been apart. I guess we were separated because our personalities don't belong together. She's always so happy and funny and gold, while I'm this close to going goth.

I stop at the door of my Spanish class, giving Julian a half hearted smile before kissing him on the cheek and walking in. I take my usual seat, folding my arms on the desk and resting my head on them as my eyes slide shut.