Didn't Know It Before( An EJ Caswell/HSMTMTS Fanfiction)

Chapter Fifteen: Family

"Wait, why are you leaving? I thought you were sleeping over?" Ashlyn asked.

"Because, I just almost did something very stupid and need to spend the night hating myself so I can never do it again, and the best way for me to do that is to go sit alone in my gigantic empty house." I said hurriedly shoving my things into my backpack.

"Well, hold on, what happened?" I shook my head.

"No, it didn't happened, because I found my right mind before anything could happen but it was close, too close." I put my bag on, going to leave when Ashlyn grabbed my wrist.

"Megan!" I stopped, turning to face her. "What. Happened."

"EJ and I almost kissed!" I exclaimed.

"What?!" I nodded.

"We almost did, and we would have had I not stopped it, and...yeah."

"So, you were right about the whole 'disappointing you' thing? He does like you?" She asked.

"No," I said, "At least not seriously, because if he did, he wouldn't be over here trying to write a song for his girlfriend in order to win her back, so no, he doesn't like me, and even if he did, he's dating Nini, and I'm not going to do that to somebody."

"You didn't," She assured me, "You stopped. You caught yourself-"

"But I didn't want to catch myself, Ashlyn!" I exclaimed. "I didn't...I didn't want to stop and Isn't...isn't that just as bad as doing it?" She opened her mouth to say something, but I just shook my head. "I gotta go. Thanks for having me over, I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Oh...ok. See you tomorrow."

I went out to my car, sitting the in the driver's seat as the guilt built up.

What am I doing?! How could I even think of doing something like that, to anyone, much less Nini who is easily the sweetest human on the planet? Of all the things I've ever thought about myself, Invisible, yes, unimportant, yes, but never a terrible person! 

I drove home feeling worse and worse by the second. When I got home, all the lights were off, my parents' car was gone, and there was a note on the door.

Megan,

Called away on a last minute business trip. We'll be gone about a week. There's an envelope of cash for food inside and a present to apologize for the short notice.

I shook my head, walking in and going to the kitchen. There was the envelope, and right beside it was an iPad...of which my parents had bought me four. They can't even keep track of the ridiculous presents they buy me.

Without thinking about it, I grabbed the box, chucking it to the floor with a sickening shatter noise.

Maybe I was always a terrible person. I mean, my own parents didn't want to be around me, so maybe they knew from the beginning, and that's why they stay away, and buy me stupid expensive presents to keep me occupied so they don't actually have to socialize with me.

Without really thinking about what I was doing, I grabbed my phone and clicked on my Mom's number, calling it.

"Margret Kline." She answered stiffly. I shook my head.

"You can stop now, ok? I get the picture." I spat into the phone.

"Megan?" She asked. "Megan, this isn't really the best time-"

"No, of course it isn't! Of course its not the best time, its never the best time, but now I get it Mom, so thank you for making it perfectly clear."