Didn't Know It Before( An EJ Caswell/HSMTMTS Fanfiction)

Chapter Thirty-One: Trying to Act

They found a portable spotlight and found me the lighting board, so I was now backstage sitting in a chair, with the light board on chairs in front of me, trying to patch the light board into the lights. EJ came off stage, standing beside me.

"Hey..." He said dejectedly.

"Hi." I greeted, not looking up at him. "So, uh...you wanna...you wanna tell me what that was?"

"What do you mean?" I did look up at him now, and as soon as I saw the look on his face, I knew what he did.

"EJ." He sighed.

"How did you know?!" He asked.

"I can tell by the look on your face!" I exclaimed. "And by that performance that..." I trailed off.

"That what?" I sighed.

"You've had better." I said gently. He sighed, shaking his head. "Look, EJ, I really want to talk you though this right now but-"

"Yeah, you're busy, I got it." He said, walking away from me. I sighed, turning back to the lightboard.

~~~

I tugged at my hair, frustrated at the lightboard.

"Ok everyone," I looked over to see everyone on the stage, and Miss Jenn was standing with her hands on the table, her back to them, looking about as stressed out as I felt, "Um, follow me. We are going to take a...long five?" Carlos looked at me, nodding for me to come along and I got sup, following the cast out into the hallway.

"You saw that performance your boyfriend gave, right?" He asked.

"Yeah." He gave me a knowing look. I nodded and we walking out to find him sitting on the floor by the concession stand with a box of popcorn in his hand.

"You looked in the audition files, didn't you?" He asked.

"Oh boy."

"We tried to warn you. Those were for Miss Jenn's eyes only."

"Not a problem," EJ said, getting up off of the floor, "because apparently, I don't have emotions." He reached into the popcorn machine, filling up his box again.

"Sometimes, you do have a way of performing that doesn't exactly feel authentic."

"Then what was I just doing on stage?!" He looked at me and I winced uncomfortably.

"That felt more like an allergic reaction."

"And what's authentic to you? A forest full of human beings? Choosing the part that's basically you so you won't have to potentially face rejection." I bit my lip.

"Right...well, I'm sorry that you're upset about you audition notes, but I have enough to deal with right now without having to diffuse your temper tantrum." I said. "Excuse me."

I turned, walking out into the hallway and sitting sideways on the stairs with my back against the wall. I closed, taking in some deep breaths. He was right. I knew he was right, Miss Jenn gave me the opportunity to play Sharpay, but I chose Kelsey because it wasn't much of a challenge. I was scared to play a part outside of the box out of fear that I wouldn't be good enough, but that's all changed now! And yeah, I get that he's upset, but I'm already stressed out trying to keep this musical on his feet, and him throwing my past insecurities in my face isn't exactly helping matters.

The door to the stairwell opened and EJ came in. I glanced at him before staring straight ahead again. He came up, sitting on the stair right beneath mine with his back against the railing so that we were facing each other.