16 - The Deathly Decision

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No one visited me. No one talked to me. No one even looked at me. I was alone.

I sat in the slammer stuck with my own thoughts as I watched the dust moats float in the rays of light that peered in. It was chilly in here, but it didn't compare to the chill I got when I pictured Josh in my head.

I saw his head blown out, with blood everywhere. His last words repeated in my mind. "You're a murderer!" I heard it all day. It's driving me mad because I never sleep, so it's an endless cycle.

But the thing that really sent a chill through my body was that part of me didn't feel guilty. Part of me thought this was okay. That part of me, I was scared of. I wanted it gone.

But I sat there, my knees pulled up to my chest, slowly waisting away until I was to hear my sentence. I knew it wasn't going to be good. Why would it be? I killed someone's best friend, someone who was innocent. He didn't deserve that, I did.

Frypan came and put a plate of food in my cell. I never ate either, I always felt sick.

"You should eat," he said. "You'll need the strength." He then left without looking at me once.

I pushed the plate away and waited. They were having the meeting today, I had to come. I have to see people that trusted me look at me in disgust. I prayed that Minho, or Newt, wouldn't show up. If I saw them now, I would die inside more than I already have.

Alby walked up before opening my cell door. "Get out," he told me.

After I did what he said, he tied my hands behind me with a rope. Gripping my arm tightly, he led me to where the meeting was being held.

When I came through the door behind Alby, everyone's eyes stared holes through me. I avoided their gazes with everything I had.

Alby sat me in a wooden chair surrounded by the Keepers. He went and stood up at a podium.

I looked up, Winston viewed me blankly. Zart seemed disappointed. Gally glared at me with fire in his eyes.

Newt's eyes were rimmed with tears but he kept his composure.

When I looked to my left, Minho sat stone faced. He was so still and lifeless. He was unfazed by all of this. Did he even care at all?

He looked at me, I saw his features soften, but that only lasted a second. Then Minho just turned away like nothing happened.

"Slim it everyone and listen!" Alby called out. He scanned his eyes over the boys before clearing his throat. "We all know why we're here today," he began. "One of us has been killed. His name was Josh, and he was our friend. We've had our grieving time, but now we have to keep the order of the Glade. To do that we have to hear why this was done to Josh and come to an agreement on the right punishment."

"We should just banish her right now! What's the point of listening to her?!" Gally said. Murmurs of agreement broke out.

Alby slammed his hand on the podium. "To keep order, this is what we need to do. Before any of you shanks decide to interrupt me again, lets hear Anne's side of the story." He looked towards me with a nod.

My hands shook in the rope fiercely. I didn't even know where to start. Would I tell them I kept the gun secret? Or would I say that it really wasn't me who did it? Either way they would get angrier.

After sitting in silence for two minutes, I decided I should tell the truth. If I didn't things would get even worse.

"Awhile ago, before the Greenie arrived, I got a bag when the supplies came. I took it to my room and looked inside. I thought it just had the normal stuff, like clothes. But at the bottom there was something else, a gun," I started, not looking at anyone. "There was a note too, it said, use your shot wisely, you only have one. WICKED is good."

"Why didn't you tell us about the gun, huh? Were you thinking about which one of us to use it on!" Gally interrupted

I shot him a glare and continued. "I hid the gun. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone for some reason. My brain wouldn't let me. So, I left it and didn't even touch it until I moved rooms."

I took in a deep breath, preparing for what was coming next. "But one day, something happened to me. It felt like someone was controlling my body. I grabbed the gun and went after Josh." Tears started to form in my eyes. "I tried to stop. I screamed inside my own head to stop. But my body kept going. When it happened they made me say that I had to do it and WICKED is good. After I .. killed him, I could control my body again and I could ever since then," I told them.

"Any last words to say before we decide your punishment?" Alby asked.

"I didn't want to do it. You all know me, you know I wouldn't hurt anyone if I had the choice. I would switch places with Josh in a second. I wouldn't hesitate. He didn't deserve that, I did. If you trust me," I looked at Gally. "Or did trust me. Trust me on what I'm saying is only the truth. I owe you guys that." I looked at Newt, then Minho. "I'm sorry."

"What are the suggested punishments?" questioned Alby.

"I say banishment," Winston said.

"Any other ideas?" Asked Alby.

No one said a word.

"Everyone in favor of banishment raise your hand."

Boys raised their hands left and right. I was relived when Newt didn't. But when my eyes found Minho, his arm stood in the air.

My heart sank to the ground. Nothing I have ever experienced has had me at this level of heartbreak. Tears slipped out and streamed down my face.

When Minho saw my face, he kept his hand up. I wanted him to put it down. I wanted this not be real. But it was.

The person I loved was sending me to my death.

"It's been decided. Anne, you will be banished tomorrow," Alby announced.

My eyes remained locked on Minho. I wanted him to know what he was doing to me.

"I guess I know who my real friends are now," I said.

Minho's face fell. I saw his eyes getting red. He stood up and rushed out of the room.

I would have gone after him. But now I felt betrayed. After everything, Minho does this to me. I should have never trusted him. I should have never loved him.

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