forelsket | johnny cade

chapter 10

"Johnny your class is over th-"

"Look Racer, I can't keep doing this whole awkward silence thing. We are going to talk about everything later tonight." Johnny said. He sounded gentle, but he clearly wanted to make a point. Before I could say anything to get out of it, his hand dropped from my shoulder and he walked away.

"Jackass." I whispered to myself as I turned around. I knew we would need to talk about this soon, but tonight was to soon. When I looked up from the ground I saw a confused yet excited face in front of me.

"Talk about everything?" Ponyboy said as he jumped a little. I rolled my eyes and moved my hands to my hair, pushing it backwards.

"Shit. You heard that." I said back, shaking my head. Pony nodded his head at me and waiting for me to speak again but I didn't. He didn't hear anything about a kiss, right? Think of something Race. Fast.

"Just uh, well" I stuttered. I had no idea what else to say. Think. Think. Think

"You guys kissed." Pony started as he waved his finger aggressively at me, as if he just found out the worlds most exciting news. "You and Johnnycakes definitely kissed!"

I felt my face grow red as I grabbed his bouncing hand in mine and threw it down. I glared at him harder then I ever had before, trying to calm myself down.

"Pony," I said, looking around to make sure no one else was listening. "Maybe we kissed but it wasn't like that. He doesn't like me. It was a quick thing, and it's not going to happen again."

"Please Racer," Pony started as he rolled his eyes. "I keep telling you he likes you and you never believe it. Now, he kisses you and you still won't believe it! I know I'm younger then you or whatever but at least I have some sense in me."

"Look Ponyboy I have to get to class can we talk about this later?" I asked taking a step away from him and towards the art door. He nodded his head, turning to the door right in front of us. Before he went into the room I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to face me again.

"Please don't tell anyone, especially not the gang. I want to work it out with Johnny first. I doubt he wants anyone knowing." I said quickly, while my hand shook slightly. I tried to cover up the fact that I was nervous but he could clearly tell.

I didn't want to mess up my friendship with Johnny any more then I already had. I told him I wouldn't tell anyone, and if he found out I told even just Pony I would feel so guilty.

Pony pulled me into a hug and squeezed me tight for a few seconds. Right as I was about to walk away, he said one last thing.

"Don't be to worried about Johnny finding out I know. He already told me."

..........

As soon as the final bell rang, I headed straight home. Finding out Johnny told Pony we kissed was my final straw of the day.

I knew Pony would find out eventually, but I thought eventually would give me a little time to figure out what had happened.

What did he even say to Pony? That he enjoined it? That he was mad it happened? That he liked me? My mind was racing so fast, I didn't even notice the tears welling up in my eyes. I let them fall. No one was around to judge me, and I needed to let it out.

This was all my fault. Johnny might have leaned in first, but if I didn't like him I wouldn't have kissed him back. I was stupid for ever having feelings for him. I knew it would fuck things up soon enough, now here we are.

When I made it to the Curtis's house, I wiped my face clean and threw on a smile. The last thing I needed was more people finding out what happened.