forelsket | johnny cade

chapter 17

Johnny and I only got to kiss for a few more minutes before Dallas stormed in.

"Not in my room, go home." He laughed. I rolled my eyes as I got up, Johnny's hand in mine. He was right, I had to get home, but I had bigger things to worry about.

"Dally," I said quietly, shifting my eyes down to my shoes as I fidgeted with Johnny's fingers. "You're not going to tell the gang about this right? Johnny and I."

I felt like slowly the whole gang was finding out. Pony new from the beginning, now Dally knew. I can tell that Darry is starting to catch onto something, but I hope he never finds out. The last thing I need in life is an another award talk about boys with him. Trust me.

It wouldn't bother me knowing they knew about it, but I felt it was better to keep it a secret. If anything ever happened between Johnny and I, and I sure hope nothing ever will, but I don't need everyone up my ass about it.

"Course kid, but only cause he told me not to." Dally replied, ruffling my hair then knocking Johnny gently in the shoulder.

"Keep the last beer for yourself Dal." I said as we left his room and headed for the exit of Bucks. With Johnny's hand still in mine, we made our way towards the Curtis's.

The silence between us was comfortable, not awkward. I still had questions for him like why he told Dally about us, and why he went to Dally's to start, but I didn't want to ruin the moment. I didn't want him to walk away again.

We walked slow enough so we weren't tired, but fast enough so we were moving. Every now and then we each would yawn, but no one said a word until we arrived closer to the house and Johnny tried to head for the lot.

"What are you doing?" I said as my shivering hand pulled him back towards me, away from where he was walking. He took and deep breathe and let it out, making a silver cloud in the air between us.

"Going to the lot, I don't want to bother-" He started, but I pulled him in slightly closer before I cut him off.

"Johnnycakes we've talked about this. It's to cold for you to be out here, and you can't go back to your parents. Come on." I started to move away, but he wouldn't budge.

"I'm going back to my parents." He said in a gently but stern tone. I looked at him like he was crazy, but didn't let go of his hand because he wouldn't go back there again.

"No you're not, you are coming back to the Curtis's with me."

"Race I stay there almost every night. What have I ever done for Darry in return? Nothing! I feel so guilty staying over when I have another place I could be," I tried to cut him off, let him know Darry didn't care and his parents place was not an option, but he kept talking, his voice becoming weaker.

"Don't you dare say my parents place isn't a place I can stay, because it is. It damn well is." I could see little tears forming in the corner of Johnny's eyes as he spoke. I stepped closer to him as he continued on.

"One day I'll go back there and they will love me again! They love me! They - they love me!" He repeated over and over. I stood there speechless.

Losing my parents was the worst thing I ever went through, but I couldn't imagine still having them around without them wanting me. That seemed awful, maybe even worse.

"I'm so sorry Johnnycakes." I said as I moved closer into hug him. I wrapped my arms around his stomach, while his found their way around his found their way around my neck, pulling me in tighter. I wanted to hug him forever, and always be here for him. I wanted to give him someone to love, someone who loved him back.