N. Chuuya X Fem! Reader: The Territory of Gravity

5 - The Fatalist's Sorrow

"Where am I?" Atsushi croaked after what seemed like hours.

Kunikida sat reading on the chair next to his bed, while you paced through the infirmary, waiting for at least one of the patients to wake up.

"Ah, you're awake," Kunikida breathed out. "I swear... this could not have been a busier time."

"I got attacked by the mafia," Atsushi recalled, sitting up. "Wait- what happened to Tanizaki-San and Naomi-San?!"

"They're fine," you sighed. "Yosano-Sensei is treating them in the next room."

Just then, you heard a shrill scream, one which induced irrevocable fear in Atsushi.

"Treating?" He whimpered. 

"Listen, lad, I heard what happened," Kunikida began. "You have a seven billion bounty on your head? Your stock has certainly risen. It's no surprise that the mafia's so frantic to track you down."

"Th-that's right! What should I do?" Atsushi panicked. "The mafia might try storming our agency next!"

"Calm down," you instructed. "It's true that the mafia's penchant for brutal violence knows no bounds... but we must remain composed."

"Panic can ruin even the best of men, as my master once said," Kunikida nodded, turning a page in his book.

"Um.. your book is upside down," Atsushi pointed out.

"Now look what you've done," you hissed.

Kunikida immediately froze and turned his notebook the right way up again.

"I am not agitated!" He yelled.  "As if any mafia henchmen could ever rattle me! If they attacked us here and now... I would defeat them!"

"Alright, Kunikida-kun, calm down," you sighed. "We still need to tell the kid about... that."

"Right," Kunikida nodded. "They'll be here any minute now. You're the one who put us in this position. Start thinking what you yourself can do."

With that, he left the room muttering under his breath. However, before he stepped out, he turned to ask one final question.

"Do either of you know where my glasses are?" He asked.

Atsushi nervously pointed at his own head, sending Kunikida the clear signal as to the whereabouts of his glasses. This sent the blonde in another fluster, causing him to leave the room in a strop.

"You must be more careful, kid," you sighed. "Being a part of the Agency means learning the right time and place to be reckless. This was neither the time, nor the place."

"Can even you and Dazai-San not defeat Akutagawa, L/N-San?" Atsushi asked.

"Rashomon can eat space itself," you explained. "But she will temporarily cease to exist if Osamu touches Akutagawa. As for me... let me just say, that I am no match for him anymore. Now, I've got some work to be getting back to. I'll see you around!"

With that, you left the infirmary as well, returning to your desk to continue filing reports. The day itself seemed to be moving slowly, with the only suspicious thing being rumours of an explosion flying about. But that case was being dealt with already, leaving you with no new cases to solve. You sighed for seemingly the hundredth time, getting bored from just typing away at your keyboard all day long. 

"L/N-San, did you say anything to Atsushi?" Kunikida asked you randomly, carrying a stack of books.

"I told him to not be a reckless little idiot," you shrugged, confused. "What, did he take that the wrong way and start trying to drown himself?"

When you didn't hear a quick retort, as you usually would, you craned your neck to check if your best friend was present at his desk but sleeping. Only, for some reason, you didn't find him at all.

The two of your desks were pushed facing each other, with Ranpo's desk not too far away. Kunikida suggested this once he'd seen the immense speed at which all of you solved cases, claiming pushing the brains in one direction would guarantee the maximum efficiency on high priority cases as well as battle strategy, should it ever come down to that.

"This is why you aren't in charge of orientation," Kunikida groaned before trudgin off to his desk.

Although, he didn't get too far before another crisis fell right onto your lap. The door to the Detective Agency was kicked in like it was nothing, showing rows upon rows of soldiers, led by three faces you thought you'd never see again. 

"What the hell?" Kunikida gaped.

"Ah, excuse me. It seems I have forgotten to make an appointment... or even knock, for that matter," the squad leader smirked. "I hope you will forgive me. We won't take too much of your time."

Just like that, his two lackey lunged in, flanked by the multiple soldiers, each ganging up against you and splitting you apart. 

"Let's be reasonable about this, kid," you grit out, pushing a girl with long black hair back with the help of your staff.

"They told us you were dead!" Gin screamed. "Did you ever stop and consider for a second what might happen to my brother without you there? What might happen to me ?"

That was all it took for you to lose your temper. You brought the staff down onto the back of her head, knocking her out cold before dishing out the same treatment to any of the other soldiers who dared to jump in and fight you. Before long, the entire squad had been defeated, and it was back to business as usual at the agency.

Just then, Atsushi stormed in, panting heavily. 

"Oh, you're back?" Kunikida asked. "Well you can see how messy this place has become in your absence. Help clean it up!"

"Kunikida-Saaan, what shall I do with these folks?" Kenji asked.

"Defenestrate them," Kunikida ordered.

Nodding, Kenji rolled all of them out the window before helping Atsushi to clear up the place. All of the furniture was untouched, thankfully, but papers still flew around thanks to the commotion caused by the Black Lizard. 

"This is why I detest raids," Kunikida grumbled as he noted down the damage done. "The office will require extensive repairs, and the tenants downstairs will surely complain. I suppose it comes with the territory though."

"Hey, Ranpo-San, what's this?" You asked, handing him a paper.

"Ah my next job!" He grinned. "You should join me!"

"Next job?" Kunikida asked.

"My 'Master Detective' job!" Ranpo laughed.

"Ah, assisting with a murder case again?" Kunikida checked.

"Indeed! The police, you see, require the help of the master detective with possession of the world's greatest ability," Ranpo smirked. "They wish to consult old Ranpo-San here, and they're crying for it."

"I'll have him help you out," Kunikida nodded, pointing over to Atsushi. "Kid, don't just stand there. We have a mountain of work to do. Go find Dazai for me too. He's adrift in the river, no doubt."

Instead of moving to listen to Kunikida's orders, as most people did, Atsushi let out a string of choked laughter.

"Are you crying?" Kunikida gaped. 

"I'm not," he sniffed.

"You sure?" Ranpo checked.

"I'm not crying," Atsushi insisted.

"Are you not?" You asked.

"Alright, I am!"

A/N: I'm not appreciating the randomness of chapter lengths but oh well