I have never begged anyone to stay,
But I said please that day.
We can work this out.
I have never prayed for anything so badly,
but I remember begging the universe that if it could hear me somehow,
all I want is a chance to make it work.
'I can't'...
A/N: trigger warning: Chapter contains mention of Sexual violence.
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"Who?" I ask.
His eyes go up, glazing over as if processing an unpleasant thought, before tentatively looking back at me with inherent guilt.
"Right..." I breathe, feeling my chest expand with building heat.
But of course.......it's the same people who created the whole Scarlet fiasco to get us to breakup..and then when that didn't work..they did this to get me to leave him....and stupidly enough, I did exactly just that....instead of talking to Rome like I should have ..I succumbed to my own insecurities and left.
"Wow." I mumble in disbelief.
He draws his lips in and exhales slowly, shifting on his feet...The look on his face is both apologetic and enraged and I genuinely feel bad for him too that his is his family we are talking about.
I open my mouth to speak but no words come out, so I close it again, instead opting to chew on my lower lip.
I was pregnant? the thought makes me dizzy.
It can't be true.
"Look, are you sure? maybe you're wrong, ok....I'm sure I would have known if I was pregnant." I say and he shakes his head.
"You were only a couple of weeks along, it's not unusual that you couldn't feel anything yet.....plus the blood test doesn't lie babe..it was there in her notes too..she knew, she just didn't tell you." he emphasizes.
He is acting so calmly, seemingly more concerned about my reaction and it's hard to tell how he feels about all this considering it was his baby too.
Whoa...Ok.....so for three years I experienced a lot of emotional distress not just because of our breakup, but also from the fact that I was never going to have a child of my own...something he and I had talked about often in our relationship...I imagined that he would eventually move on and have that dream..I dreaded the thought of coming back and watching that happen, but I couldn't run away from myself and eventually had to teach myself to come to terms with that reality.
But it was all for nothing...Dr. Vidal lied ...How could she do that?......doctors are supposed to be ethical....how could someone sworn to care for others keep such a thing from me, knowing full well my medical history..and then go on to tell me a lie.
Wait a second..She had been my gynecologist for a couple of months by that time and had been the one to recommend the contraceptive I was on when I miscarried....what if she had given me something to cause the miscarriage?
The thought, sudden and striking makes my body flush with heat, and my heart to pound so violently against my chest, it makes my ears ring.
