Struggles ✔

Chapter 60.

Cole's POV

Everyone looked really bothered. They all looked really sad and upset. Alyssa and I constantly tried to ask them what happened, but nothing. My head was also full of questions.

Why would Lexi let Olivia talk to Alyssa like that?

Why didn't Lex defend us?

Why'd she get so cold?

Why is she so distant?

The guys and I stopped in our tracks when we heard music playing in the music room. I'm pretty sure we were the only ones left. We were the only one's in detention. The guys and I glanced at each other and we slowly opened the door.

"You guys it might just be Hailey." Robin whispers to us

"Or maybe not." Chase stares at the person in the room.

Inside was Matt and Lexi. Matt was playing the piano and Lex was singing. I didn't know she could sing...The three of us watched intently as Lex began to sing.

Stone cold
Stone cold
You see me standing
But I'm dyin' on the floor
Stone cold
Stone cold
Maybe if I don't cry
I won't feel anymore

Stone cold
Baby
God knows I try to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am
Even if I can't understand
I'll take the pain
Give me the truth
Me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is her
I'm happy for you

Hmm, mm-mm, mm

Stone cold
Stone cold
You're dancing with her
While I'm staring at my phone
Stone cold
Stone cold
I was your amber, but now
She's your shade of gold

Stone cold
Baby
God knows I try to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am
Even if I can't understand
I'll take the pain
Give me the truth
Me and my heart
We'll make it through
If happy is her
I'm happy for you

Tears started rolling down her cheeks. She was crying yet still sounded amazing...

Don't wanna be stone cold
Stone
I wish I could mean this
But here's my good-bye
Oh, I'm happy for you
Know that I am
Even if I can't understand
If happy is her
If happy is her
I'm happy for you

This song...she seems to really connect with it. Memories of her and I start flashing in my head. I was so lost in thought that I didn't realize I accidentally lost balance. The door completely opened exposing the three of us.

I stared at Lex. She was looking at us in shock. Once her gaze reached me, her eyes became masked. No emotions to be seen.

You see me standing , but I'm dyin' on the floor

Her face held no emotions. I recognized this look. She was sad, but didn't want to show it. She muttered a goodbye to Matt and rushed out. She was holding in her feelings.

Maybe if I don't cry,  I won't feel anymore

I tried to go after her, but she was already gone. I rushed to my car and drove home as fast as I could. I needed to talk to her. She was in pain. Instead of seeing Lex at home,I saw Alyssa. She greeted me with a warm smile and a big hug. I quickly hugged her then called out for Lex. Aly said that she didn't come home today.

She hasn't been home actually...

Aly was constantly asking me if I was okay. My mind was racing,wondering about Lex. I couldn't focus or concentrate. Chase and Robin don't know where she went, neither did the girls. Aly tried to keep me calm. She said that Lex might be at work right now.

Soon Mom and Dad came home from work, and we were having dinner. Alyssa stayed with us for dinner. Dad looked really upset and Mom looked sad. Both of them looked at me in dissapointment. They glared at Alyssa and I. I was getting fed up with their stares so I decided to speak up.

"Okay. What's wrong? Why are you guys upset?"

The dissapointment in their eyes grew even more. Mom shook her head, refusing to talk. Dad took the lead.

"Cole.If I remember correctly, Alexa is your girlfriend. So can you please tell us who the hell is this girl that you're giving all your time, effort and affection beause it's definitely not Alex. I thought you were supposed to give those things to your girlfriend,not your ex girlfriend." Dad said coldly

"You've been so busy with her that you don't even pay attention to your so called "girlfriend". Did you know that while you two are acting all couple like, she's there staring at you. She's staring and thinking to herself 'that should be me.'"

You're  dancing with her, while I'm staring at my phone.

"But do you care? No."

My mind flooded with memories of Lex. Those memories started blurring and it changed to all Alyssa. There was no recent memory of Lex and I together.

I was your amber, but now she's your shade of gold

"Where's Lexi" I demanded to know

"Check her room." Dad says

I quickly rush up to her room. I burst open the door and my heart sank. It was clean. None of her stuff was in here. It was all empty. A sick and sad looking Cola sat on her bed. This was where he has been all this time. I checked her closet, the washroom, under the bed but there was nothing. It was all gone. She was gone. She left.

I wish I could mean this, but here's my goodbye

I dropped to my knees. I remember everytime Alyssa and I would hang out, Lex was always there in the background. She was all alone. I replaced her. I let my past feelings of Alyssa get in the way of Lex and I.

I remember Lex helping me. She helped me with Aurora, with my parents, with my asthma, with my best friend. She helped me because she wants to see me happy. She didn't talk to me about her jealousy and pain because she saw that I was happy with Alyssa. I started crying.

Stone Cold
Baby
God knows I try to feel
Happy for you
Know that I am

All she wanted was for me to be happy. I promised that I will always keep her happy that I would never hurt her. I broke my promise. I hurt her so much. She was heartbroken, by me.

Even if I can't understand
I'll take the pain
Give me the truth
Me and my heart
We'll make it through

Alex never went cold. She never faded away. It was all my fault. I hurt her even when I promised I wouldn't. I broke her. I fixed her heart and then unknowingly crushed it. And she never told me because I was too happy with Alyssa.

If happy is her
I'm happy for you

I fucked up. I didn't just break her heart anymore, I broke mine too.

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