This Summer (DMBB Spin-off)

Chapter 38: Don't Break My Heart

"'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up."

Song: I Wont Give Up ~ Jason Mraz

***

38. Don't Break My Heart

Jacob's POV

Sirens.

That's all I could hear, fucking sirens.

The sound had been ringing in my ears for hours. Hours after I found her.

I replayed the day's events in my mind over and over again, wondering how I could have missed it. How could I have missed the warning signs? I should have known. After Hunter talked to her, I should have known she wouldn't be okay. I should have followed my intuition instead of following the lie she told when she said she was fine. She hated being treated like glass, and so I thought it best to give her a little space. I should have known.

God, I should have known.

When I left the diner with the others, I wasn't worried. She had gone ahead with Khalan, and so I knew there was someone with her, even though she would probably say that she wanted to be alone. I didn't hesitate to go see her when I got back to the ranch. I didn't bother knocking either, we'd seen enough of each other to worry about walking in unannounced. Besides, she was probably asleep. When I opened the door though, it was a whole other sight. My heart dropped to the floor, and my body followed seconds after. It happened fast, I didn't know what to do to save her. She was far gone already, and so I just called 911. And then I stayed there with her, begging her not to close her eyes completely. Begging her to stay with me and not shatter my heart into a million and one pieces. I begged her to stay awake.

She couldn't.

When her eyes closed I lost it. I yelled out with everything within me to grab someone's attention. Jessica was first on the scene, and then that's when I began to hear the ambulance sirens go off. Time slowed down in that moment, and they drowned out anything else around me. All I remember was Jessica's horrified face, more people running into the room, and the lifeless body I held in my arms, close to my heart where she would always be.

***

"Jacob?"

I turned my head as Khalan's voice pulled me out of my trance. I looked down at her hand, which had a beverage in it. I also noticed how it trembled as she stretched it out to me.

"I um...I thought you could use a hot chocolate or something..."

I enclosed my hand around hers to keep it steady, and then looked up at her face. I didn't miss the tears in her eyes waiting to spill out.

I slowly took the drink out of her quavering hand. "Thanks."

I wasn't in the mood to eat or drink, but I took a sip for her anyway. It was still in the early hours of the morning, and we were all exhausted from hanging around the hospital for hours. I looked around, and all I saw were broken spirits. Liam sat against the wall, holding Renée close. Tess was talking to Shawn quietly, both of them looking like they wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. Unlike the rest of us, Jessica allowed herself to cry, and Austin was trying to console her someway somehow.

I shifted in my seat so I could sit more comfortably, and Khalan rested her head on my shoulder. We shared similar guilt, she and I. We didn't have to say it, but we both knew. She blamed herself for not staying with her, and I blamed myself for not being there in the first place. Maybe that's why we kept to ourselves when we got to the hospital.