This Summer (DMBB Spin-off)

Chapter 1: Should I Give You Two Some Space?

* Warning: This book deals with mental health, suicide, and addiction issues.*

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"Had to lose my way
To know which road to take
Trouble found me."

Song: Roots ~ Imagine Dragons

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1. Should I Give You Two Some Space?

I looked out the window of the Uber I was in and took a deep breath. I had been uneasy the entire plane ride here and now it was worse. I popped a valium pill at the airport but hey, I guess my anxiety had kicked in ten times harder since then.

If I must, let me explain.

When I was fifteen, I struggled a bit with depression and anxiety. And by struggled a bit I mean overdosed and almost killed myself.

All was good though, I got help. Therapy, rehab, you name it. I was okay, and that wasn't a lie. For the next three years I was fine. Sure, I had my medication to take but I didn't shut anybody out and stay in my room all day like I used to. Then it happened.

College.

I was terrified of starting a life away from my friends and family but hey, I had to do it. Besides, everyone got scared at one point. I thought I could cope, but for some reason I started to feel a familiar overwhelming feeling during the first couple of months. All my friends were doing great. Everyone seemed to be having a good time every time we spoke, so you can imaging how much I felt like a piece of shit. Time went on and I stopped picking up calls so regularly. Eventually  stopped talking to them as much as I used to. I didn't even go home for Christmas. I was way too disappointed in myself. I broke up with Charlie because he started to ask too many questions. Then I found myself a new group of people to hang out with. They weren't my friends, but they didn't judge me, and they hooked me up with all the pills I needed, especially when things got bad and I needed to go on a little euphoric high for a while.

So you see, I was quite messed up. And I didn't have the heart to tell anyone. They would be so disappointed. I was disappointed in myself. Besides, after I gave Khalan such a hard time when I found out she was using I didn't want to seem like a hypocrite. I was a big one, but I didn't want to seem like it.

That was why I had to show up this summer and act like everything was fine.

"Miss? We're here," the driver said.

"Huh?" I said, snapping back from being lost in my thoughts. "Oh, yeah, thanks."

I got out of the car and looked around. Wyoming sure was beautiful. I looked in front of me and saw the ranch. That was the address Jacob gave all of us. I walked up to the front of the house. There were only like three other houses around. It was a small quiet town. After ringing the doorbell three times with no answer I decided to go around the back. I dragged my suitcase with my carry on hanging on my arm and saw that the fence gate was open. I hesitated at first, thinking of whether I should go in or not. I checked the address one more time on my phone and shrugged, walking in.

I noticed a barn in the huge backyard and wandered in. There were stacks of hay in one corner and the floor was covered in more of it. I gasped when I saw the magnificent horses in their stables. I approached one and began to gently stroke it.

"Shayley?" I heard someone call.

I turned, startled. "Jacob! You scared me for a second."

He laughed and walked over to me. "Long time no see."