This Summer (DMBB Spin-off)

Chapter 35: We're All Liam Fangirls

"You are not alone
I am here with you."

Song: You Are Not Alone ~ Michael Jackson

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35. We're All Liam Fangirls

Things were great.

Almost everything was great really.

My friends were great.

Jacob was great.

We spent a lot of time in his bed for one, not sleeping for that matter. And that was...great.

But there was still one problem. I was still sad.

I had missed out on taking my prescribed pills for so long, and I wasn't eager to get back to them because I hated the side effects. And so now I was just...depressed.

Did I know why? A lot of the times, not really. All I knew was that there was a weight sitting on my chest and I couldn't really do anything about it. Usually when I got like this I'd just prescribe myself some other kind of drug, but the whole sobriety thing seemed to be working out for me lately.

I looked over at Jacob, who was sound asleep, and sighed. I slowly got out of bed and took his shirt off the floor before shimmying into it. When I got to the door, I heard him call my name.

"Shayley?"

I stopped, not the least bit surprised that he woke up.

I turned. "Go back to bed."

"Shayley," he called again, much more audibly.

I sighed. "Yes?"

He sat up. "Are you okay?"

"What do you think Jacob?" I replied.

"Right," he said. "You hate being asked that."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Come back to bed," he told me.

I looked at his outstretched arm and trudged back to him. He hugged me and then placed a soft kiss on my temple. I sucked in a breath and allowed the tears I'd been holding in for days fall down my cheeks.

"Hey, it's okay," he whispered. "I'm here okay? It's okay."

"You can't fix what's wrong with me Jacob," I sniffled.

This wasn't unrealistic like in the movies. The girl didn't just fall in love and then stop being depressed. He wasn't just going to magically make everything go away.

"Shayley, look at me," he said, holding my face in his hands. "I know I can't fix you, but I'll be there with you every step of the way. You don't have to feel alone. Shay, you're not alone, you've never been."

I tried to focus on his words to get myself to stop crying.

Why me?

I never asked to be like this. Why did the universe decide to fuck up my life? What did I ever do?

"I love you so much," he said, stroking my hair.

I let out a breath and wiped my tears. I was lucky I had him.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I totally just started crying out of nowhere."

"It wasn't from nowhere," he told me. "I wish I could stop you from feeling the way that you do."

"I wish I could stop myself," I sighed, before falling back onto the bed.

He lay down beside me. "You'll be okay, I promise."