This Summer (DMBB Spin-off)

Chapter 36: It's Called Self Care

Bit of a mature scene ahead!

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Now as you wade through shadows that live in your heart
You'll find the light that leads home
Cause I see you for you and your beautiful scars
So take my hand, don't let go.

Song: Broken Arrows ~ Avicii

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36. It's Called Self Care

I sat outside on the patio, thinking to myself. I heard footsteps, but I knew that was only Jacob coming back. He sat down and handed me a cup of hot chocolate and I smiled.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem," he said.

"So, are you going to keep telling me about your childhood?" I teased.

"You've heard enough embarrassing stories about me," he laughed.

I felt safe with Jacob, especially when we were out here like this. He didn't force me to open up, even though I always ended up doing so anyway. He didn't look at me like I was damaged, even though I was. He gave up reconciling with his father and I knew that was partly because he thought I was worth him staying, even though I wasn't. He loved me for me, and I couldn't be happier.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

I shook my head slightly. "I'm just glad I decided to show up this summer."

He took my hand and kissed the back of it. "I'm glad too. Made me remember how much I liked you."

"I still can't believe you liked me the entire time," I said truthfully. "How did I not know?"

"I did a good job at hiding it," he chuckled. "I still remember when I took you to prom. You were sad about Charlie not making it and I promised myself that I would leave you smiling at the end of the night."

I remembered that night too and smiled. Jacob really did his best to make me have a good time, and I did. It must have been difficult for him listening to me whine about my then boyfriend.

"God I must have put you through hell huh?" I said apologetically. "And I put you through hell again."

He shook his head. "No you didn't. I'm sitting here with you aren't I?"

I smiled at him, and he kissed my temple.

I leaned closer to him and took a sip of the hot chocolate, before saying what I wanted to say.

"I want to go to Cameron's grave," I blurted.

"You do?" he asked, sounding a bit surprised.

I nodded. "Yeah...I want to tell him goodbye...properly."

"Are you ready for that?" he asked me.

"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe, maybe not."

He set his cup down beside him and wrapped both of his arms around me. I placed my ear on his chest and listened to his steady heartbeat.

"If you want, we could just go out tomorrow," he offered. "We'll spend the day doing whatever. If by the time we decide to head back you feel you're ready, then I'll take you. If not, we'll come back to the ranch. Either way I'll be with you."

"That sounds amazing," I mumbled, entirely grateful for him.

"Come on," he said, picking up his cup. "Finish that and then we'll go to bed."