Midnight Memories

chapter 47: since i lost you

chapter 47: since i lost you

flashback | Kai's POV

"This is the last time I'm going to ask, asshole. What did you do to her?" Matt asks from the driver's seat, as I lean back in the passenger's and close my eyes.

I broke her heart, smashed it to pieces. I destroyed the castle we've been building together all this time. I set it on fire and watched it burn without blinking. I swallowed the ashes. I think I'm dead.

I think this but I don't say it out loud. Because a) it'll sound way too dramatic, and b) it's not his business, it's no one's business. No one will understand how screwed we are right now.

Honestly, I'm surprised I can still breathe or think or feel. I can't believe I said those things to her an hour ago just for her to hate me. But I hope to God it worked.

I hope she hates me now, so she can finally see with how much force I was dragging her down the Bermuda Triangle.

It will be easier for her now. Now that she hates me, she can move on.

When she left me there I thought I could walk back home and hopefully talk someone into running me over with their car. But like the goddamn saint that she is, she had Matt pick me up before I had the chance to follow the plan.

"Fuck Dylan, you were strong", I told Dylan as we kept walking together on the side of the road seconds before Matt found us. "I can't even kill myself. I figure you have to have a lot of courage to end it the way you did."

"And baggage," he added walking backward, to face me. "After all, I killed my brother, remember? I was doing drugs, the worst kind, I was feeling guilty every time I looked at Snow. I was miserable as hell. So yeah, a hell of heavy baggage."

"Does that mean I haven't reached my limit yet? Does that mean I can take more punches before finally giving up?" I asked rhetorically.

We didn't say anything after that, as we kept walking until Matt found us... me.

"He fucked her over," Dylan answers now, instead of me, probably rolling his eyes in the backseat like a drama queen, as Matt drives me home.

For a second I hold my breath, hoping, really hoping Matt can hear him too. I hold my breath and wait for him to respond to Dylan, but of course, he doesn't.

"Because all I ever do is break beautiful things," I say under my breath before telling Dylan to shut the hell up.

I hear Matt swear at me, thinking I'm talking to him. But I'm not.

"What's the deal with you? She loves you, you're crazy about her." Matt says again. "So what's stopping you?"

"That's what I said." Dylan chimes in clapping his hands together. I feel him lean forward, sticking his head between our seats.

He turns his head to me and stares at me as he goes on.

"I told you you'll regret it, and you did even before you started spluttering your fake bullshit."

"I don't regret it. She's better off without me." I answer him.

Again Matt thinks I'm talking to him because he decides to prolong his damn monologue.

"You're a delusional prick if you actually believe that."

Dylan gives Matt a thumbs up, as Matt stays oblivious to his presence.

Everyone is oblivious to it, except me. The freak, who sees a ghost during the day and nightmares during the night. Look at that, I really did win a fucking jackpot.