Midnight Memories

Chapter 14: Midnight Memories N6 or "I Can't Seem To Stop"

Yup! Me again! Don't forget to check out the soundtracks for every chapter! BTW do you guys know Trevor Daniel? I think I am obsessed with his music, it makes me scream and scare my neighbors, but I LOVE it! HE DRIVES ME WILD WILD WILD... #FangirlVibesHere, fam.

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Chapter 14: Midnight Memories N6 or "I Can't Seem To Stop"

Why did I let my jealousy control my actions and words? I don't have the right to complain about him hanging out with whoever he wants to when I can't even talk openly about my emotions, even with my own self. I know that then why did I?

I shouldn't have let him know that he affects me like that. I shouldn't have given him the power. I should have just left without saying a word. What if I have already let him get too close?

But it's not as if he's innocent either. What? Talk about MY feelings? That's total bullshit when he keeps hinting at things and saying things to mess with my head and then goes after girls when I am right there when he avoids talking about his past every time I'm asking a question.

Neither of us is an open book for the other, but at least I accept it, at least I don't tell him he's the only one that won't open up.

I can't ignore the pain that still takes over when I remember what he said. It's true, of course, it is, he never promised me anything, but just because it's true, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

I'm getting out of the elevator later that night when I see Kai sitting in front of my door, with two big cans of paint, several paintbrushes, and a retro typewriter next to him. His head is lowered, one leg bent at the knee, the other lying straight on the ground.

I've been out the whole day, writing down ideas for my show at a coffee shop near our block, so I could be away from him. I thought putting some distance between us would help with the slap of the realization. But now, that I see him in front of me, I realize- it hasn't helped with anything.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, passing him as if unfazed, and unlocking my door. I feel him stand up in a hurry, even though I try to ignore him with everything that I have.

"I... Uh. I brought a gift for you," he says, holding the typewriter up toward me.

It's a black one, with white keys and a small moon painted on one side. I have a guess who drew that. I've always wanted to have a typewriter because they are fascinating to me.

They remind me of all the old stories and books I've read, they have that beautiful and powerful spirit in them that reminds me of how amazing it is to create words.

They make the words stay, have a meaning and power within them, once the words are typed, they are engraved. They don't disappear. They are not like promises, those words typewriters create.

Another reason I love them is that they remind me of the times when I used to play the piano. Just running my fingers over the letters, calms me down and makes me feel like home. This said though, I have no idea, how he can know any of it.

"You can't be serious. Why are you even giving me this?"

"I thought you'd like it, as soon as I saw it. And I wanted to do something...nice." When I don't answer and just keep staring at him suspiciously, he goes on. "Also, I came to paint the walls like I promised."

"You didn't promise me anything," I say way too fast, making him clench his jaw as if he's in some kind of pain. As if.

He looks at me, his face serious, meaning only business. But I don't waver, I cross my arms against my chest defensively.