Midnight Memories

Chapter 17: Midnight Memories N7 or "The Most Alive I Have Felt"

And be there light :D You'll know what I mean once you finish reading this chapter buahahaha :D also please, please, PLEASE, don't forget to vote for the chapter, send this to a friend who might like this story, and also let me know what you guys think about Kailena so far. It will give me more energy and motivation to go on, cuz I'm jobless right now and emotionally very exhausted because of the things going on in my life right now! Anyway, enjoy (hopefully). ^_^

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Chapter 17: Midnight Memories N7 or "The Most Alive I Have Felt"

I am lying on my side on Kai's living room floor, face turned to him, watching him sleep. It worked... I helped him fall asleep, or maybe I did it with my boring conversations, but whatever the reason, he did fall asleep.

His one hand is tucked under his neck, while the other one is lying on his stomach. His breaths are coming out even, his chest rising with every inhale.

Lately, I love watching him more and more. I love staring at him when he doesn't notice; I love his eyes and the bridge of his nose and his long lashes. I love it when he looks sideways and I can see his jawline. I love looking at his hands, the sight of those silver rings on his fingers, that he wears most of the time. I love it more when he wears those rings with his suits at work and I love the feeling of them pressed against my fingers.

I love it when he grabs my shoulders when he wants to reason with me, when he runs his fingers through his hair, how he rubs his face when he's exhausted. I love the way he chews gum and how fast he can take shots and never get drunk.

I love the optic glasses I saw him wear once or twice in the office, and how he gets excited when he's talking about Math or his favorite paintings. How his eyes sparkle when we are arguing about movies or music or art in general.

I love how he doesn't give a crap about anyone else's business, and yet he notices everything and cares about people around him immensely, how he supports them and stands up for what he believes in. I love that he's not ashamed of himself and how he always makes every situation comfortable for me... for us. Even after the fights we have and the running away, and indirect confessions, he never makes me feel ashamed of myself and my feelings. He makes me want to be glad to be myself, instead of being someone else.

I just love every little thing about him, including his faults and mood swings.

Kai moves his head abruptly, breaking my stalker mode.

"No." He whispers, shaking his head. "No," he repeats and this time his voice is louder. He becomes a small ball on the floor pressing his knees to his chest. I notice how while he keeps chanting "no", the drops of sweat run down his forehead and his neck.

I sit up, taken by surprise, and reach out for him carefully, not to startle him.

"Hey," I shake his shoulder slowly, carefully, not to startle him.

"No, please don't. Don't leave me alone," he repeats trembling. Tears start to run down his eyes as I keep shaking him gently. My heart beats faster than ever before. This is what he told me about before- his nightmares.

"Kai, wake up," I whisper worried, just when he jerks away from me, slapping my hand away, eyes still closed.

"No," he shouts, taking me by surprise. "Don't touch me. Don't touch me."

I lean into him, resting my hand on his shoulders, trying to stop his shaking and crying and screaming.

"It's okay...It's a dream."

"I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry." He repeats crying, never opening his eyes as his whole body trembles.