The Light in the Dark | Neville Longbottom

Chapter 88: All The Young Dudes

"Hey so... it's been about a month since RW left... We're not exactly sure where he's gone or if he's even alive. It's been tough without him. HG won't stop crying and HP is more temperamental than usual. The three of us haven't talked much, but we continue to travel... I really miss you, okay... Please give me a sign if this reaches you. I love you."

Foolishly, I sat waiting for a response. And as expected, I didn't receive one.

For a moment, I thought that I had felt the coin burning, meaning that Neville was responding. But once the cold wind hit my fingers again, I realized it was hysteria and that I was actually starting to get frostbite — it was my turn to be lookout and wear the horcrux for the night.

It's been exactly thirty-five days since Ron left. I started counting the nightfalls, so that was how I knew. As much as Harry tried to convince us that we didn't need him, he was very wrong. Hermione cried relentlessly over it. I didn't know how she was crying that much, considering we were low on water and severely dehydrated. Harry grew angrier. He constantly snapped at Hermione for crying and spent a lot more time with himself.

On the other hand, I just grew lonelier. Conversations that weren't horcrux or war-related rarely happened, even before Ron's departure. And with Hermione and Harry constantly keeping to themselves, we were getting no closer to finding nor destroying horcruxes, so that gave them no reason to converse. And by result, I was left to my thoughts for countless, silent hours.

If I hadn't already gone insane, I had by now. The starvation and constant silence made me delusional, especially when I kept lookout. I underwent severe hallucinations. They'd go on for hours at a time. I usually found myself disapparating from the tent and to somewhere new. Sometimes they were major cities — like New York City in the states or Paris in France — and sometimes they were fields in the countryside. Wherever they were, they all had the same thing in common: no wizards. I think it was a sign... a sign that I wanted to get away from it all. But then the hallucination eventually ended, and I magically reappeared in the tent... somber and lonely.

I guess in a way it was almost helpful because it depressed me enough to the point where Voldemort was physically unable to infiltrate my mind. The last vision I had was from the Ministry break-in... the last time I remembered having any trace of happiness. But it also sucked because the empty pit in my stomach never disappeared. It was just always there. Never got any better nor any worse... Just there.

But that was beside the point, this was the new normal.

The rustling of leaves broke my thoughts. For a moment, I thought that someone had broken through the enchantments, but that was far from the truth. It was actually the wind. I figured that a storm was on the way because the wind violently shook the trees. I wanted to be safe inside the tent when it actually happened, but that wasn't an option with Harry and Hermione. It was my turn to keep lookout, so I had to fulfill the harshness for the night.

I thought this way for another ten minutes... until I finally snapped.

"Fuck this..." I seethed through my shivers.

Hastily, I stood up from the forest floor and stormed back into the tent. The heat burned my skin instantly, only confirming how long I had been freezing outside for. I grabbed the nearest blanket and wrapped it around me. I sat like this for a few moments, letting my body temperature regulate once again.

Like always, it was silent. And in an impulsive decision, I put an end to the silence, turning on the radio. Hermione and Harry were asleep, they had to be at this point, so playing the radio on a low volume wouldn't have woke them.

I snuggled up next to the radio, listening to whatever wizard station was on.

"As the holidays approach, the bounty for the undesirables will increase, so be on full alert these upcoming weeks," the radio man announced, "And as for today's death tolls... The following are those who have been found guilty for conspiring against the Ministry and have received their well-deserved fates-"