My Heart Belongs To You

Love All Over Me

"Now I got love all over me. Baby, you touch every part of me. I got love all over me. And I don't want to get it off. I'm completely covered up in your love"-Monica (Love All Over Me)

Aaliyah

I'm not going lie and say that I wasn't nervous when I found out that I was pregnant, not going lie and say that I'm even more nervous that me or this baby will survive this pregnancy. Let alone knowing how to raise a child when I haven't even had a sibling to look after, all I know is Trey and he's older than me. After me, my mom decided that she didn't want anymore children because of how much she went through with my father after he left us, I don't blame her but I'm scared. I had to go through so many procedures to help to conceive children, it was nerve wrecking and hard not to have somebody beside you through it all. 

At that time I was stressed out, Chris was cheating on me too so I had no one to comfort me or support me. I was laid up all day everyday in one of the guest rooms downstairs in his house, getting help from one of his maids to try and eat something, her helping me put on my clothes, his physical therapist helping me to walk around and exercising to get my body physically moving, every once in a while his mom would check on me, I felt like shit that I couldn't be a mother. That he would constantly yell at me for not giving him what he wanted but not realizing that I couldn't have children at that time. I'm glad that I got out of that relationship because he wasn't good for me, my health or my spirit. 

I just hope that everything works out for Aug and I because I went through a lot these past 6 years and I'm praying that God continue to bless me. I'm going do everything in my power to make sure we have this baby, healthy and deliver him or her on my due date. When Aug said if he ever lose me again he wouldn't know what to do, I felt that pain he had in his voice. I promise to myself and him that I would never leave his side again even if it meant that he was trying to push me away to keep me safe, with him is my safe place. He always protected me and I need him with me every step of the way.

 I didn't want to tell Aug that I saw Chris in the studio that's why I never got to chill with Trey or how I was trying to avoid the fact that the media would've thought I was in a triangle. Besides less stress on the both us, I want to move to Paris when I get bigger because I hate it here and to bring our baby into this world with paps breathing down our necks every waking minute or how people are always in your business. Our baby don't need that and truthfully I am sick of this shit too. I mean I got myself into that when I started dating Chris or how my last name is Neverson, sometimes I wish I was born into a normal family but hey God only can choose who you're born to and I'm happy with my mom and dad and Trey. 

Anyway after going to the doctor's and confirming that I'm pregnant and seeing my little baby inside my stomach I was so happy that I can be someone's mother. That Aug is the father of my child, he's such a great man, an even amazing uncle to his nieces and the way his love pours off him when he's around them I know that he'll show that same amount of love to his own child. I know I was a little emotional when the girls found out from Lavell that I was pregnant but I wanted to tell my own good news, I knew he meant well and all its just this is new to me and I wanted everybody to feel the love from me that I have for this beautiful human inside of me. 

I am so proud of Aug and the man he has become, he's worked so hard to get to where he's at today. Failure was never an option to him because he would never give up on himself. He deserves the plat, double plat, and gold records, shit all his albums deserves all that. I've watched him in the studio late nights making sure every last word was spelled correctly, every last detail of the song was made right, that every last vocal he sung was coming out the right way. He used to tire himself out that he slept in the studio and I had to drag him back home to his mom because she was worried about him. On top of that he was out in the streets trying to make money for his studio time, get collabs from celebs, videos for his songs, clothes and shoes. He was putting in work to get out of the streets and not be another statistic like everybody thought of black kids when they were growing up. He grew a whole fanbase over the years 6.4 million people follow him on everything and love him so much, even when he not putting out music they still rep for him and I love how much love he gets.