Thomas Brodie Sangster Imagines❤️

You won't remember anyways

The cuts in my arms prove everything; my cowardness, my depression, my lost.

It's been a year since Thomas and I broke up, and today just so happens to be our anniversary. I sit in my living room couch, staring at my freshly new deep cuts; unaware of the time. My arms throb from the pain, but it still doesn't compare to my loss of him, no matter how many times I try. Tears start to stream down my face, each tear pouring down faster then the last one. I break down, as my hands cover my heart which feels like it'll break into a thousand peices.

I close my eyes tighter, if that was even possible.

I wasn't good enough for him...that's why he-

*ding dong*

It's 1am...who would be at the door so late?...probably (Y/B/F). Crap! I don't want her to see me like this. I start to run to find a sweater, too ashamed of my body to be shown to anyone. I open the door, shocked at my visitor.

"(Y/N)!...."

Thomas... What is he doing here?.. Tears fill into my eyes, as I notice all of his familiar features; his messy brown eyes and hair, his broad body structure, and his warm smile. He opens his mouth as if he was going to say something then closes it back probably forgetting. He smiles into my eyes as I look away. He's drunk...

I can't just leave him out when he's drunk. My lips start to hurt from biting it to much. I feel my body start to shake,

"Thomas..." my throat turns dry after saying one word, after saying his name. He leans forward and kisses me; our lips quickly meeting. A warm feeling goes through me, as I push him back. No. I can't do this. "Thomas I think-" My lower lip trembles.

"I miss my nickname (Y/N)...you never say it anymore" he pouts looking down at me, "and I'm hungry!" A tear falls down as we just stare into each other's eyes for who knows how long. His hand caresses my cheek, "why're you crying?" He furrows his brows as I laugh. He sounds like a kid.

I start to walk into the kitchen as he follows, my entire body still shaking from his presence. It's okay... He wont remember any of this in the morning anyways. I wonder how much he drank...

He sits at the table as I make egg, which was the only thing that was fast and easy to cook in the fridge. I place it in front of him. "(Y/N), I never see you smile anymore...why not?" I laugh to myself; he's like an annoying cute kid when he's drunk. I ruffle his hair as I sit next to him, avoiding his question as I place my elbows on my knees. His eyes widens as he stares at my arms. I look down noticing my sleeves have fell down. I quickly get up while pulling my sleeves back up.

"(Y/N)!! What is that!? Let me see!?"

He forcfully grabs my arms, scanning them with fear in his eyes.

"What happened, (Y/N)?!?! Did you do this!?" My legs break, not being able to handle any of this anymore. I bring my legs to my chest as I cry into them.

I feel a slow circular motion on my back, this always helped me calm down. He picks me up bridal style and carries me into my room, his childish smile faded. We don't talk the entire way to the room. He sets me on my bed heading to the washroom where the first aid kit is kept. "Thomas...you don't need to do this" he looks up at me while disinfecting my wounds. " I don't need to do this?! You don't need to do this!!?" He starts to yell as he points at my arms; his voice ringing in my ears. He lifts my chin so our eyes meet. A look of compassion comes across his face, "why?.." I bring my arm back into my chest and cry. I don't care if he thinks of me as weak or vulnerable. I stand up my legs shaking,

"I wasn't good enough for you Thomas ! And the worst part is, is that I tried! I tried so hard to stop loving you...but I can't..." I stop to catch my breath, tired of everything I'm saying, "I don't understand what I did wrong...I cut myself because the pain distracts me from you...distracts me from all of the things we did, all of the things you said..."

He pulls me into his chest which smells like alcohol. "(Y/N)...I'm sorry"

No you're not...you don't love me. He's drunk (Y/N)...don't take advantage of this situation, it'll only be worse.

I cry harder into his chest as he squeezes tighter, "shh..we'll figure everything out in the morning okay?"

No...no we won't, everything will be different in the morning. I'll be gone in the morning. I don't want to be a burden anymore for anyone- for myself. I lean up and kiss his cheek.

"I love you Thomas ... I don't care anymore because you won't remember any of this anyways." Another sob comes across me, "I love you so much"

Despite all of my cowardness he kisses me passionately. Our lips yearning for each other, devestated that they haven't touched in a year. We break apart as we lie in bed together; no space between us. I focus on his breathing and the tightness of his arms which are around my waist, which calms me down.

I know that I'm making a big mistake. And I know that I'll regret everything in the morning. But can't I be happy for once? He kisses my forhead, "I love you too, (Y/N).." We both drift off asleep, terrified of what will happen in the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you all so much for reading !!! There will be a part 2!!! Votes and comments and recomendations are well accepted!!!

Xoxo...