Chapter Twenty-Three

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I had somehow managed to fall into a fitful sleep after a terrible crying fit, and thankfully, it was a dreamless one. Rather, a nightmare-less one. Thoughts of Jack tended to flood my conscious mind as it already was, and thoughts of him also flooding my unconscious mind was steadily pushing me to the brink of insanity. Thoughts and questions about him plagued me regardless.

I had been terrified of Jack when I had first met him; perhaps met would be an understatement of our real first encounter. However, though the fear was very much still present, it had lessened considerably after he had saved my life twice now. But really, who was counting? No matter how many good deeds he did or would ever do, it wouldn't erase the deep-rooted urges he had.

His words rang throughout my mind almost always in regards to his peculiar appetize, which had proven itself to be true when he had sunk his lethal weapon-like teeth into Jeff.

There was no other reason for him to display such a predatory violence toward Jeff, and though I full and well knew the reason, I really didn't care to take account for Jack's feelings. He had made a gory display of himself to show me what he was capable of, to gauge any possible reaction from me. He could have handled Jeff differently, yet he intentionally chose the way he had wanted to behave to try and elicit a reaction from me; to see how much he could expose me to before I broke. If he felt that I was weak, or that I was emotionally-fragile, his feelings would be spot on. But if he felt that I was easily broken, he would find himself to be sadly mistaken. Every move he made further interested me in his own psyche.

Look at us, just two people observing each-other, waiting for something interesting to happen.

And, in good nature, something interesting definitely had happened. 

The feeling of his lips fleetingly grazing my own wasn't a feeling I'd forget any time soon, but for all the wrong reasons. He had violated my personal space in a way I really hadn't thought he would, but again, presuming anything about Jack was an effort made in vain. He was unpredictable, at least to me. And it should have terrified me. It should have made me want to shun him, look at him in disgust the same way his creators had. But it just wasn't in me.

I had more experience with monsters than the average person, and it didn't begin with Jack, but with Henry. A despicable creature in human skin, hurting without remorse, looking into the eyes of the woman he claimed to love and being able to call her the most disgusting names he could conjure. And all the while, I gazed upon with him with nothing but love. Sure, over the past few months, the love faded. But the care and compassion never did.

I just didn't have it in my heart to give up on anybody. If there was a flicker of hope, I would try and blow on the ember to spark a flame. And if the flame burned me in the end, I wrapped a bandage around it and repeated, but with more distance. Eventually, I had drifted too far from Henry's ember of hope, and it diminished completely. And though nothing that had happened to Henry was my fault, I understood the venom that Jack spewed at me. From seeing glimpses into his own past, it made sense. He had never had anyone to spark his ember, and eventually, it diminished. But, not completely.

Had he called himself a monster so often because he truly believed it, or because it was told to him that that was what he was, what he must be? Did he really regard himself in such a way, or had he just buried his real feelings under miles of brick wall?

A light knock came from the other side of the heavy metal door before it opened, surprising me.

Since when did he have any regard for privacy?

"I was unable to acquire food for you when I had wanted to, but I will be making the journey to your house today. Is there anything else you'll need from there?"

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