𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

Hope Ashford

"I never thought you would make an effort to get along with me," Newman says. Yeah that makes two of us. I didn't think I'd be here, eating ice cream with the bodyguard who I wanted fired.

"You're not that bad," I reply. Newman lets out a laugh. Newman. I always call him that because that's what my parents call him and well also because I didn't wanna call him by his name. I look over at his name tag. Adrian. Adrian Newman.

"You're not that bad either," Adrian remarks.

"So," I start. "Since I opened up to you about my problem, will you tell me about yours?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" Adrian asks. Well what I mean is, I wanna know why he "doesn't do relationships" I'm still curious. Not because I care obviously, like I said I'm just curious. Very curious.

"Why don't you do relationships?" I blurt out.

"Why do you ask?" Adrian takes a bite out of his ice cream. A bite, which probably hurt but this isn't about the ice cream. What do I answer to that?

"I'm just curious," I reply.

"Well because relationships are a waste of time," he says bluntly. "That's it."

"Oh come on," I scoff. "I'm sure there's more to it than just that," I say. He shakes his head no. Man I hate when he does that instead of answering. "I'll pay you one hundred dollars if you tell me." Yeah, I'm that curious. Adrian laughs and shakes his head. He turns his head to look at me.

"You would pay me one hundred dollars to tell you the specific reason why I think that relationships are a waste of time?" Adrian asks. I nod my head yes. "Hope don't waste your money on that kinda stuff," Adrian says.

"Why don't you wanna tell me?" I ask him. I just know that there's more to it than just "relationships are a waste of time."

"I told you everything, there's not much to it I just think relationships are a waste of time," Adrian replies. I look at him doubtfully. "You really want to know that bad?" Adrian asks.

"Yeah," I admit.

"I won't go into detail but let's just say love has disappointed me twice and I don't intend on being disappointed a third time," Adrian states. Oh. "Does that answer your question Hope?" I don't say anything and just nod my head. I don't know what to respond. I'm sorry that happened? No I just won't say anything. "You don't have to feel bad, it happened a long time ago," Adrian says. Mind reader.

"I don't know what to say," I reply. "I can't say I relate because, I've never been in love," I admit. "Is it really that bad?"

"It's..." he trails off. "Everyone has different experiences," Adrian states. "Maybe you'll find someone who loves you as much as you love them," Adrian implies.

"Maybe I will," I say. "Or maybe they'll betray me just like my mom did to my dad," I imply.

"Don't think like that, there's billions of people and not all of them will be like your mom," Adrian points out. "Perhaps you'll get lucky," Adrian remarks.

"Perhaps," I repeat. "But no one has been able to sweep me off my feet yet, and I have like really high standards so if I do fall in love, I'll make sure it's someone who won't hurt me," I assure.

"That's good for you Hope," Adrian says. "But always be extra careful, some people are really good at pretending to feel something they don't or to be someone they're not."

"Are you speaking from experience?" I want to slap myself right now, right here on the spot. Why would I ask that? He just told me he wasn't gonna get into detail. I just don't know how to keep my mouth shut.

"Mhm," Adrian hums in response. I shouldn't have asked and just taken the advice dammit.

"We should start walking back to my house before it gets dark," I suggest. Adrian nods as he gets up. I do the same and I toss my napkin in the trash.

"Are you gonna talk to your best friend about earlier?" Adrian asks. Oh shit, I forgot about that.

"Tomorrow, I'm still kinda mad that she wasn't telling her brother to stop harassing me when I was clearly uncomfortable," I explain.

"You should set some boundaries with that boy," Adrian suggests.

"I will," I assure.

"Good," Adrian replies.

I really wanna know what it's like to fall in love. Like madly fall in love. But not just me being in love, I want to be loved in return. Completely.

The rest of the day, I stayed up in my room. I already messaged April and told her I forgave her. Of course I let her know that what her brother did wasn't okay. Caleb needs to stop harassing me. I get that he's been liking me for quite a while but I don't feel the same way. I can't control my feelings.

A knock makes me jump a little of fright. "Can I come in?" I hear Nina ask.

"Yes Nina," I reply as I stand up. Nina walks in with a tray of food. I furrow my brows in confusion. "I was actually planning on eating with my parents," I say.

"Miss, your parents have a meeting and I thought you would want to eat here— unless you wanna eat at the dining table by yourself," Nina places the tray on my desk.

"No, I'll eat here," I walk over to my desk. "You can go now Nina," I say. She walks out of my room and shuts the door. I sigh as push the tray away from me. I'm not that hungry anymore.

I wonder if my mom's feeling guilty right now that she's with my dad. How can she look my dad in the eye knowing that she's screwing another man behind his back? Just thinking about it makes my physically ill.