𝐑𝐞𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲

𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄

Hope Ashford

I can't believe I was that stupid. Of course, he doesn't love me. God, why did I get my hopes up? He was clear with me from day one. He doesn't do relationships. Why would I think he'd make an exception for me?

The second Jeremy parked the car, I stormed out of the car as fast as I could. I go up to my room and slam the door. That's when I break. I fall to the ground and break down in sobs. I cover my mouth to muffle my sobs and make less noise.

I shouldn't be crying this much. I hardly cry in general. Should've known. I want to hate him, but I have no one else to blame but myself. I let myself get my hopes up just because he didn't deny liking me. Everything and everyone sucks.

I cried for a good hour. Fuck you, Nina. You should've kept your big mouth. Now I really want to get her fired. I can make other guys fall for me but not Adrian? Who knew my first time falling in love would be a fucking disaster.

I walk over to my mirror. I looked so pretty this morning, and now I look ugly. My mascara is running down my face, my eyes are red and so is my nose. I look like I came straight out of a horror movie. I grab a wipe and clean my face. I don't even want to see Adrian. I don't have the heart to do what I did when I first met him. I wish I could hate him so I could get him fired but no matter how hard I try, I can't hate Adrian Newman.

A knock at my door makes me jump. "Who is it?" Deep down, I'm hoping it's Adrian. I'm hoping he'll say 'I lied. I love you just as much as you love me, Hope.'

"Me," I hear my mother's voice. Oh. I walk over to the door and open it. She looks at my face in disgust. "What happened there?" she points at my face. Just got heartbroken by the only guy who has made me fall in love.

"I was watching The Notebook," I lie. I've ugly-cried to that movie before, so I know she'll believe me. She nods and sits on my bed.

"Nicolas and his family are coming over tomorrow," she informs. I want to smile and look excited but I feel too weak to even try. "Maybe you can bond with Nicolas again." I nod my head, hoping she'll take a damn hint and leave.

I think she read my mind because she left. I sigh in relief and lay on my bed. Why does this happen to me? Why couldn't I fall in love with someone who would feel the same way? Maybe I should bond with Nicolas again. Who knows, maybe he can help me get over Adrian.

About Adrian. I guess I can just act as if nothing happened and everything's fine. I'll try to act like I don't give two fucks about him. I won't get out of my room until Nicolas and his family gets here.

I cried most of the night. I can't seem to get over what happened. I hate this feeling. I shouldn't be crying this much over my fucking BODYGUARD. I wish I never stopped hating him. I wish I would've never opened my door the day I found out my mom was cheating on my dad. I wish I would've never opened up to him. I wish I would've never met him.

—

I've tried on like five dresses and none of them suit me today. I finally try on my emerald green dress. I look in the mirror. It'll do.

I continue getting ready. I've been thinking all morning. I should confront Nina, and ask her why she talks so much about me behind my back. I know it's obvious, that she has a thing for Adrian. But Adrian doesn't like either of us so what's the point of talking bad about me? She earns nothing from it.

I'm done getting ready, but I won't get out of my room until Nicolas and his family get here. I don't have anything to do so I just sit on my bed and turn on my TV. The last movie I was watching was A Walk To Remember. I started watching from where I left off.

I'm at the scene where Landon finds out about Jamie's sickness. I cry every single time I watch this movie. It comforts me. I wonder if I'll ever find my Landon. The way he loves Jamie is so unreal. He built her a telescope, he dumped all of his friends for her, he helped her do things on her bucket list, he talked to her dad to take her out because she wasn't allowed to date, and he loved her.

When will I find that?

By the time the movie's done, I'm crying. Crying like a baby. I had to redo my makeup. Sucks but at least I'm keeping myself busy. Once I finished, I decided to finally get out of my room.

Who cares if I see Adrian? I just need to act like I don't care. I should confront Nina right now. She's probably in the kitchen by herself like always. And if she's not alone, I'll just tell her I need to speak to her in private.

I walk out of my room and look around. Adrian is nowhere to be seen. I walk downstairs and look around. Still nowhere to be seen. I sigh in relief as I walk faster. I start making my way to the kitchen.

"Wow," I turn around looking at my mom. "You finally wear something pretty." I fake smile and continue walking. What was I supposed to say back? Thank you? I think the fuck not. That was such a backhanded compliment. I inhale nervously before walking inside the kitchen.