Living with my greatest fear.

~Chapter 10~

Grant's POV:

I pull up onto the drive, get out of the car and get my bag from the boot. Trying to get Ellie to sit down and talk to me will be the hardest part, I think. I just want to know what scares her so I can try and help her overcome it and make it more of a pleasant experience. I'm not expecting her to enjoy coming down to my office, because I don't think anyone fully enjoys it, but I want her to feel as though she can go down there and not feel uneasy.

I go to the front door and unlock it. I walk in, put my bag down and head straight into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I can't see any washing up in the sink, so either Ellie has had something and has washed up, or she left the dishes in her room, or she hasn't eaten anything. I'm hoping for the first option, however I think it's going to be the last.

"Ellie," I shout from the hallway, "Can you come downstairs?"

"Only if you're not going to tell me I have to go down to your office," she shouts back down.

"No, I'm not. Can you come downstairs for me?"

"Yeah, coming."

I wait for Ellie to come downstairs and I make a cup of tea for both of us and I put them on the coffee table and I sit on the sofa.

"What did you want to talk to me about, then?" Ellie asks.

"Umm... I wanted to talk about your fear of coming down to my office...?"

Ellie immediately tries to get up and walk away, but I see it coming. So, before she got the chance to, I held onto her wrist, not tightly but enough for her to stop and turn back around to face me.

"Ellie, can you sit back down, please?"

"I don't want to talk about this, not right now."

"Ellie, you will never want to talk about it. But I want to know what's bothering you about it."

"I just don't like it. Is that what you wanted?"

"I know you don't like it, E, but I want to change that. I want you to not hate coming down to my office."

"You know that's never going to happen, so why try?"

"Because it can change, if you just listen to me. So, please, can you sit back down and just listen to what I have to say?"

Ellie sits back down, I know that she doesn't want to talk about this, but there's no other way of me being able to help her.

"Ellie, I know you hate coming down to my office. But I want to help you and I don't like seeing you so uneasy and so scared when you go there. I'm not doing this because I know you hate it. I'm only doing this to help you, I promise. So, do you want to tell me what actually makes you scared and not want to go?"

I see Ellie tense up and slightly move away from me.

"E, you don't have to be scared of me, I'm your brother. I'm not going to do anything, I just want to know what scares you."

Ellie's POV:

I really don't want to talk to Grant about this. I feel so stupid talking about it - not that I have spoken to anyone about it, but I just feel stupid being scared about it, especially because Grant's my brother. I know he just wants to help but I just can't talk to him about it.

"I can't talk about this. I really can't Grant."

"You can, E, just calm down. I'm not going to do anything, I'll just listen to what you have to say."

I try to calm down and start to talk to Grant.

"I'm just scared because it's a place I don't know, I'm not used to anyone looking in my mouth and I don't like the thought of it." I say, only just managing to get that much out.

"I get why you are scared because you don't know the place well, and the only way you can overcome that is to go there more often, I'm afraid. I know you don't like me looking in your mouth and again the only way you can overcome that is to come down more often. Why don't you like the thought of it? What makes it a place you don't like?"

"I guess so, I guess I just have to go more often but the only thing is, I can't because I'm too scared to. I don't like the thought of it, I guess, because I'm not used to it and I don't like it because I'm scared."

"I promise you, E, that you don't have to be scared of it. It's only me, and you trust me, right?"

"Yeah, I do trust you."

"I have an idea.... How about I bring home a box of gloves and masks and a packet of tools and we can try and get you used to me looking in your mouth?"

"I-I-I guess so. I guess that could work, yeah."

"Okay, love, I'll bring them home tomorrow after work"

Grant's POV:

I thought about the idea of bringing stuff home with me, to try and get Ellie used to me being her dentist. I think it's the office and everything in it that makes her so scared. I think she is okay with me being her dentist and having a checkup, but with all the tools on show, the dental chair, the light, and everything I think she finds it a bit intimidating being there.

"Is there anything else that you are scared about? Or that you want to talk about?"

"I mean I'm scared of everything there, but I think it's just something I'm going to have to get used to. I never want to talk about this, so, no, I have nothing else to talk about."

"Yeah, there's nothing I can do about my exam room to make you less scared, I'm afraid. But, hopefully with everything at home, we can start to do checkups at home and then maybe you will feel more confident with going to my office."

"Mhm."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't like talking about these kinds of things."

"Well, thank you for telling me about what you're scared of. You can go back upstairs if you want to."

"Thanks."

Ellie got up and left to go to her room. I still don't know whether she has eaten anything all day. I guess I'll find out later.

Thinking about the conversation that we just had, I think Ellie is still going to be scared of me but I think this is the best first step in making her less scared. It sucks that she is so scared around me when I'm in what she calls 'dentist-mode' but I'm glad, in a way, that she is so scared around me and makes a fuss with me rather than one of my friends. I don't know how she would cope if one of my friends was her dentist. I don't think she would ever go. That's not because they are mean or more strict than I am, I think she would just freak out if someone that she doesn't know very well, was her dentist.