Teach Me How To Kiss

Crazy For You

My mother was coming over for brunch one Saturday, meaning she was coming to talk. Our best conversations were over special meals, and for this occasion I was making my Spinach lasagna. Needless to say I had a hunch on the topic of conversation that would take place; but there was more depth in the details that she didn't know.

As time went by, I continued to strive to be that caring girlfriend that Terri needed. But I was beginning to see another side to him that I hoped would only last as long as this 'phase'. I watched his obsession with going back to Afghanistan and his hatred for the people there grow. He was constantly reading up on their news on his laptop while we watched a movie together. Or he'd call his First Sergeant and argue that he needed to be on that next deployment if not sooner. His mind was always 'out there' and never next to me.

Then came the mood swings whenever he randomly saw something that triggered a memory. He'd turn stone cold and remain angry and unpleasant to be around. I hate to admit that my love for this person was fading. I wanted to stick it out as I had hoped to see some kind of improvement in time; but it just got uglier. And then I was getting tired, bitter and unexcited to see him; but I felt as though I owed him.

The kitchen timer rang, it was time to take out the lasagna and let it cool. My mother must have smelt it from down stairs as I instantly heard a knock on the door. She surprised me with some flowers for our brunch and I went to add them immediately to our table display. I loved my mother dearly as you already know, but when she spoke her wise words it was best that heeded to them. Though as I predicted, her worried mind didn't stay mute for much longer.

"How have you been sweetie?" She began.

"Well not to toot my own horn, but there are a lot of requests for my raspberry white chocolate and lemon cheesecake at the restaurant." I smiled, avoiding the obvious.

"That's lovely honey. I'm so proud of you for doing so well. But honey I worry for you every night. You look so tired every time I see you and I know it's not just from work." She said squeezing my hand on the table.

"Mom, I don't think I can do it anymore." I broke out of my thin shell and wept.

"Honey, no one is expecting you to be the hero and save him. We are all grieving over what's been happening. But you are MY daughter and I want what's best for you. And I believe this relationship is doing more harm than good."

"I would feel horrible to abandon him mom."

"You're not abandoning him. He will always have you around. We are his family and we will be here for him. But right now his destructive way of thinking is only wearing on you…I spoke with Devin and apparently everyone at your work agrees; you're not the same Brynn. It's affecting you too now."

I hadn't noticed that I too was being 'affected'? I guess it took an outsider to make me realize that, and if it was going to be anyone to tell me it had to be my mother; or else I'd probably get defensive about it.

"So you think it is okay that I break up with him?"

"Honestly, I encourage it."

"You don't think that would make it worse?"

"A little time and space will take care of that." She assured me.

…

I decided to go pay Terri a visit the next day. Now that I felt less obligated to this unhappy relationship I saw no reason to delay the inevitable; as cruel as that may sound. I updated Janet on every possible detail you could imagine between Terri and I; including the missing puzzle pieces of Aaron. She insisted on coming with me. You couldn't imagine the relief of her loyalty and support for me regardless the fact that Terri was still her uncle.