What's on Your Mind?

24

Taehyung had been nervous to know how this conversation was going to go. He was beyond annoyed with his hyung and so he was going to be as petty as he wanted, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried. There were several things to be worried about, like if they don’t make up will they be forced to stay apart from one another? What would happen if they had such a big argument that they hated each other? What would happen if they stopped liking each other? Well this hadn’t been their first argument. No, that happened weeks ago, over a small misunderstanding, and they weren’t even a couple yet so a breakup scare wasn’t even considered. 

Yet Taehyung still feared that this argument would be their final straw. It wasn’t like the couple argued often, after all. When Yoongi came back to the main room with a large sleep shirt and a towel in his hair, Taehyung strained to keep his eyes focused on the movie he was watching. He didn’t want to watch Yoongi’s every move. The slow way he crept into bed, slowly tucking himself under the covers. Hands clasped in his lap patiently waiting for Taehyung to pause his film. Oh, he was waiting for Taehyung. Taehyung pressed pause and turned his body to face his hyung, but not quite making eye contact.
 

“What even happened Tae? What did I do to upset you so bad that that happened today? You know I would never make fun of how you look and that I was only teasing you. You look handsome in anything the stylists put you in, okay. I don’t mean to upset you when I tease you but you didn’t even let me know it upset you this bad. And, well it fucking hurt. Well not just because you hit me, which surprised me more than anything, but that was unexpected and I guess I thought you’d react differently.” Yoongi spoke softly but his words were still sharp and firm. He was clearly upset and confused and Taehyung knew it but it didn’t soften him up at all.

Taehyung looked at his hyung with a serious expression. “It’s funny you say that, hyung, but I have been telling you for ages how I don’t like when you tease me. Your teasing doesn’t feel like jokes, it makes me insecure and I hate that. I hate that your words affect me so easily and I hate that I get so emotional. Today was just the last bit of your teasing that I could handle. Why do you do it Hyung? Why do you like making me squirm and anxious? I tried to brush it off, I really did but I don’t know…” He trailed off. Hands covered his face as he deflated himself in defeat. 

Suddenly two cold hands pried his hands away from his face. Yoongi looked deep in his eyes with a sad look in his eyes. “Please tell me that’s not how you truly feel. Because if so, I am very sorry that you’ve been feeling this way every time I tease you. I only do it because I think you look cute and charming and I actually admire your creativity and bravery. I never want to make you feel bad. Ever. Why can’t you ever just see that? Is it so hard to believe?” Yoongi cupped his cheeks and held eye contact. Something which was rare, but he was feeling brave enough. “Please, Tae, you have to know that I am sorry and I’ll do anything to make you feel better. I’ll stop teasing you and compliment you more. And..and give you spa days, and make you nice food. Just please don’t be angry with me.” 

Taehyung looked at his hyung with a straight face. He slid out of Yoongi’s hold and climbed off the bed. “Hyung, please. Just stop this. I need space to think about this. You’ve made me feel really uncomfortable with myself lately. I just need some time to myself. Please.” He looked at his hands then at the bedroom and Yoongi knew what was coming. Before Taehyung could say anything else Yoongi stood from the bed and sighed. “Stay. I’ll give you space. I guess I’ll see you in the morning. I’m sorry Tae.” And before he knew it he was standing outside Seokjin’s door in his dressing gown and a face full of regret and sorrow.

 
Taehyung on the other hand went to bed, turned off the TV and curled into the bed. He lay in the silence, overwhelmed by the thoughts running through his head. He felt an exhilarating wash of sadness wash over him as hot tears streamed down his face wetting the pillow below him. He felt relieved to have gotten his words across, even slightly guilty for not having said much sooner and having lashed out, but it was true when he had tried to tell his hyung his feelings before. But Yoongi must have brushed it off as him joking or being shy. Which frustrated him, because why couldn’t he seem more honest and serious? Should he have sat the elder down and spoken to him seriously like that? Should he have just sucked it up and not done anything at all? Would that have made it better?

Too many questions rushed through his head, doing nothing to stop the flow of warm tears on his cheeks. Suddenly the bed felt too large and too empty. As much as he needed his space, he did miss his hyung. He missed the warmth and the cuddles. How unfair it was that he was left alone. He was the one who craved physical touch and warmth and yet he was the one who was all by himself when he needed it the most. Taehyung wanted to phone Jimin or Hoseok but knew they would already be asleep. And he didn’t want to disturb Jungkook, who was most definitely with Namjoon already and that would result in too many questions. And considering Yoongi turned left out the door earlier, Seokjin’s room would be out of bounds.